hsf@hlexa.UUCP (Henry Friedman) (06/07/85)
(Reposted by popular demand. (Don't believe that.))
ME: You promised to give me the ULTIMATE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING if I learned
to endure the flames of USENET.
META-WIZ: You don't look so hot, my son, but here's your answer (handing
over an object).
ME: But this is just a small metal ball!
META-WIZ: It just looks like a small metal ball. It's really a six-
dimensional hypersphere.
ME: What's the sixth dimension?
META-WIZ: The sixth dimension is a hypertime with just one event: the
instant where I gave you the ball. Before that nothing existed
because nobody knew about the ball.
ME: YOU knew about the ball.
META-WIZ: But I'm the META-WIZ. I don't count. You have to use a little
imagination, my son.
ME: What are the other five dimensions?
META-WIZ: Well, think of the ball as being composed of tiny circles. Each
circle represents the three dimensions of space of the universe.
Stack up some circles to make a cylinder that goes right through
the middle of the ball, and you have the fourth dimension: time.
One such cylinder represents our universe from the big bang until
the end of time.
ME: That makes four dimensions inside the hyperball. What's the fifth?
META-WIZ: The set of the infinity of possible cylinders. That would be
the set of all possibilities throughout time of our universe
and all possible universes.
ME: Sounds reasonable as far as it goes. What happens along any one of
the cylinders?
META-WIZ: The big bang; entropy increases from min to maximum; time seems to
flow; complex structures evolve; information is created and preserved;
and finally, everything is destroyed.
ME: And one of those "complex structures" carrying information is a person,
right? (rubbing the ball)
META-WIZ: Now you're catching on, but don't rub that ball so hard?
ME: Why?
META-WIZ: Well, remember that the surface of the sphere represents all
possible beginnings and endings of time. You could really
screw things up!
ME: Look, if your little ball really has all the answers, answer this one
for me. Who's right, the creationists or the evolutionists?
META-WIZ: They're both right.
ME: Your mean I've gone through all this just to get that kind of dumb
cop-out?
META-WIZ: It's not a cop-out. You see, my son, it's all a matter of point
of view. The creationist sees things from the viewpoint of the
sixth dimension. There everything was created in a flash, at
the instant I gave you the ball--all of space and time.
The evolutionist sees things from the viewpoint of the fifth
or fourth dimension. There everything is seen to evolve
in time, from causal and probabilistic processes. Of course
creationists don't really believe all of time was created in
a flash, but it's close enough.
ME: Thanks, WIZ. This has really been better than I expected. But I've
got to run now.
META-WIZ: What's the hurry, my son?
ME: I've got to log onto the net to see whether you've just poophed away
net.origins.
--Henry Friedman (note: Please don't carry on any further discussion of
creationism in response, unless you pooph
back net.origins and do it there.)
Flames welcome: my mailbox has been empty lately!