simon (02/01/83)
The advice 'don't have children if you are not willing to consider them your first priority' cannot be stressed enough. Yes, it is possible for both parents (or a single parent) to work full time, get a good child care that may be betterthan the average traditional mother care, but the attitude that one is willing to make any sacrifice for one's children must be there, or one should not have children. Children need many things - first of all dedicated and loving parents, LOTS of time, and (obviously, but at the end of the list) food, clothing and other such stuff. Food, clothing, and minimal care are easy to get. Quality child care- intelligent, responsible care - is very hard to get. You may be lucky, and have a family member (mother, aunt, whatever) that is willing to be a 'mother', or find a full-time parent to take care of your children during the day, or pay a day-care center, or some good person to leave them with. There is a big money problem here - unless day care is subsidised heavily, it should be very expensive. For small children, you need an adult for approximately every 4 children, andyou want that adult to be loving, intelligent, and competent - a professional like you. Which means, earning a salary like yours. Will you be able to afford it? Can we NOT afford it? (Actually most 'early and late childhood educators' areridiculously underpaid - that is why most schools and day care centers stink). Special problems arise if the children get sick, if school has unexpected holidays, etc. Most arrangements will be less than perfect - which means that you will have to spend extra time with your children, sometimes during your work time. Of course your career will not benefit from it. Of course, if you are a good parent, that does not really matter. And of course, if you are going to resent it, instead of enjoying parenthood, you shouldn't have children. janos simon (psuvax1!simon)