andy (01/27/83)
I sincerely hope parents do more than provide basic material needs for their children. And to those who think that is what parenting is all about, I suggest you get goldfish instead--don't fool yourself, careers and raising children just don't mix; either one or the other will suffer. You need at least one parent at home full-time if you expect your children to be brought up the "right way". I have a dog. She is cute and lovable--it really makes me feel good to come home and receive her warm welcome. If all I did for her was to keep her fed and healthy, I would hope the humane society would get wind of it and take her away from me. And that is "just a dog". I also have two daughters (2 and 5 yrs. old). They are both cute and lovable--it really makes me feel good... Not only would it be sad, it would also be criminal if all I did for them was kept them fed and healthy, leaving the remaining 95%+ of the responsibility to others. But my children are lucky--my wife and I decided that if we were going to have children one of us will stay home with them since we realized our children are more important than careers or two paychecks. Sure we have had hard times making ends meet. But we have never regretted it even for a moment. That's probably because we don't have the time-- parenting is NOT easy and it is comparable to working 3 full-time jobs; you don't have too much time left for yourself. Some people may say this is a great sacrifice and maybe it is, but these are MY children and I want to instill in them MY ideals, not those of the daycare worker or television script writers or grandma or the lady next door. If you want to pursue a career, do yourself and society a favour: don't have children.
mmt (01/27/83)
There is something to be said for the idea that children should NOT be brought up instilled with the parents' ideals, but should very early be given the experience of people with different ideals. Society has a great deal of trouble with dogmatic and fanatic people who think their ideals are the only correct ones. Not being religious, I sent my young children to a religious family for day care for a while. Whether or not they wound up religious was their affair, not mine. (As it turned out, they didn't). The important point is tolerance, and that comes from understanding. As with language, understanding other people starts young. I think that my kids, however screwed up they may be by my ``aged parent'' standards, at least understand other people pretty well. I think that it is important that you DO send your children to another environment for day care, even if one parent stays home all day. It is important, too, that the day-care environment be a loving one, not an institutional leave-em-and-get-em-back place. Martin Taylor
arens (01/28/83)
The letter decvax!utzoo!andy has sent to this group is really interesting. Look at what he says: (emphases mine) careers and raising children just don't mix You need AT LEAST ONE PARENT at home full-time if you expect your children to be brought up the "right way". I also have two daughters [I? Not WE? -- YA] MY WIFE AND I decided that if we were going to have children ONE OF US will stay home with them WE have never regretted it Ok. Now let's try and guess: Which of the two parents do you think stayed home to take care of HIS kids? Oh, well. Just a coincidence, I'm sure. After all, he AND his wife decided, right? Yigal Arens UC Berkeley
annej (02/01/83)
Just curious, utzoo!andy: which of you in your family does the "staying home" with the children? I hope to be pleasantly surprised by your answer. -- Anne Jacko ...decvax!teklabs!tekid!annej ...ucbvax!teklabs!tekid!annej