aniko (02/07/83)
"A Wellesley guide to womanhood" taken from the Op-Ed page of the Wellesley News "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" has been getting too much attention lately. We (...) decided to even the scale. We went to the Wellesley community and asked, "Well, what are real women like?" While our investigation was not as scientific as, say, the "Hite Report" it succeeded, at least, in giving hints on how to spot the real woman. For starters, not only do real women eat quiche, they know hot to make it. There's no doubt in our minds that real women drink Tab. Real women like cats, especially "LeChat." Real women don't wear glasses, they have contacts. Real women speak French. Real women have their own phones. Real women go to Fort Lauderdale for Spring Break. Have you ever noticed that real women always have beautiful handwriting? Real women dress up on Sundays. Real women own a Parker pen. You can find real women at Superwomen Myth conferences. Real women like to complain about their weight. Real women like to read "Glamour." We're not sure whether real women play tennis or pretend to play tennis. Does someone out there know? Real women, like real men, drive fast cars. Real women don't fall asleep in class. Real women have Harvard boyfriends. Real women wouldn't be caught dead at MIT. Real women have manicured nails. Unlike real men, real women don't drink beer, they drink frozen daquairies when around men and Jack Daniels straight up when around other real women. Real women send their clothes to Reliable Cleaners. Real women wear their Lanz nightgowns with pearls to breakfast. Real women get good lottery numbers. Real women drink tea. Real women have never heard of the "Real Paper." Real women get flowers on Valentine's Day. Why do real women love Anthony Geary? Real women usually major in Art History and English Lit. Real women never have to complain about being dateless; their social calendars are booked two weeks in advance. Real women do their reserve reading. Real women know calligraphy. Real women don't read boxing magazines. Real women go to bed before midnight. When real women were little girls their mommies took them to an orthodontist to get braces. Real women don't do weekend bells; they pay someone to do them Real women have Marimekko sheets. Real women own twelve make-up brushes. Real women don't like Monty Python. Above all, they abhor Benny Hill. Real women hyphenate their names when they marry. Real women listen to the weather report every morning. Real women never eat alone. Never, under any circumstances, does a real woman leave her house without putting on make-up. Real women prefer papers over exams. Why don't real women get pimples? Real women don't work at the "Galen Stone Review." Real women don't want coeds on campus. Real women have rugs in their rooms. Real women get self-righteous in "You Can Write In This Book." Real women love to visit New York city. Finally - and perhaps we should tell Bruce Feirstein (he wrote "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche") - real women don't like real men.
jah (02/08/83)
Real women don't fall asleep in class? Must be no real women in the class I'm teaching at Wellesley, they all keep falling asleep! Maybe it's my teaching???
odell (02/10/83)
Have you read 'Real Women Don't Pump Gas' by Joyce Jillson? It features, among others, the real woman's credo, Great lines from real womem movies and great dates in real woman history. "Let's not forget that Clint Eastwood did not spring whole from the loins of a man....and that even the Pope has a mother."!!