harkins (02/23/83)
many times that sort of "left handed" compliment is taken as badly as possible by the female in question; i think that the problem is much akin to the difference between oriental and occidental "reality," ie, a function of our right or left "brainedness" (sorry for that kludge); given that, it is entirely expectable to find that men view most women as unable to function well with regard to what men call logic, machines, etc.; women, on the other hand, find men insensitive,etc. for the same inherent reason; we both have to realize that there really is a fundamental difference in the worldview of men and women, and try to be sensitive to that from either side of the gender gap; given all that, if i were in barb's position, i would interpret the "compliment" as something like, "you're ok, since you can relate to things much like a man would; therefore, i don't have to constantly keep in mind that you're not one." my brother came up with a cute aphorism to this general effect: "it's not that women don't have a full deck, it's just that it's a different one." ernie harkins
guy (02/25/83)
References: cires.1994
"The difference between oriental and occidental 'reality'?" Are you implying
that Orientals and Occidentals have different hemispherical lateralization
in their brains? Somehow I doubt that...
Furthermore, there *may* be a difference on the average between the
lateralization of women and men, *but* is this difference significant?
I.e., (assuming some simple one-dimensional measure of lateralization)
there will be some curve of incidence of value "n" of this measure vs.
"n". This curve, if it is a Gaussian, will have some standard deviation;
if the difference between women and men is .1 SD, who *cares* whether
there is such a difference? Categorizing men as "good at logic, machines,
etc." and women as good at "sensitivity" may be accurate, but 1) if it is true,
it is probably due to socialization; and 2) it sounds too much like the
condescending statements made about women over the ages ("You shouldn't think
too hard, you know, it'll wear out your brain and make you unfit for
childbearing" with the implicit statement that childbearing is a woman's role
in life) for me to trust it. Lots of statements about groups of people having
"roles" that they are best suited for come suspiciously often from those
groups whose "roles" turn out to be elite roles. Similar remarks have been
made about the Irish in the U.S., about blacks, about working-class people,
etc., etc.; at this point, I tend to think "shoot first and ask questions
later" when I hear such remarks.
Guy Harris
RLG Corporation
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