ded@aplvax.UUCP (08/08/83)
Once again, toiletiquette rears its porcelain head; to wit: why do women insist on putting covers on toilet seats? You know what I'm talking about, those frilly rags (usually pink in color) that they put on the toilet cover (for those of you unfamiliar with the important subject of toilets, there are three terms you should become familiar with: cover, warm seat, and cold seat. The "cover" is the thing which keeps you from looking in; the "warm seat" is what most people sit on; the "cold seat" is what women complain about when men leave the warm seat up). In any case, today we're talking about toilet seat covers. I usually run into them at parties. Here's the sad story: I blunder into the bathroom, reeling from a combination of Moosehead and mind-altering conversation, and there it is, leering at me. Sometimes there's pictures of little furry animals on it; sometimes its Garfield, which is truly disgusting. Shaking my head in disbelief, I put the warm seat up. Lo and behold, it falls down. The stupid cover prevents it from staying put. I put the seat up again. The cover pushes it down. Up. Down. Finally, I have to perform a perverse sort of gymnastics just so I can finish my business and get the heck out of there. It isn't fair. Don Davis JHU/APL ...decvax!harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!aplvax!ded ...rlgvax!cvl!umcp-cs!aplvax!ded