lute@abnjh.UUCP (J. Collymore) (08/10/83)
The reason we have these gender problems with toilet seats is because most couples won't take the troulbe to redesign their bathrooms with "his & her" toilets. Too expensive, you say!?! Well, you can try putting a little contact switch (attached to a red light) on the main seat cover, so that whenever the toilet seat is up, it'll close a circuit and the red light will go on. The added feature of this light is that it can double as a "nite-lite," too. AND, as a great gag gift, you can add a sign to the light that says: "MEN AT WORK." Or, if you want to condition your men to always lower the seat, reverse the switch and attach the wires to a mechanical "party peanut" dispenser. Every time your man remembers to lower the seat, he closes the circuit and gets a peanut, m&m, or a rabbit pellet as a reward. WARNING! If he's very hungry, however, he may stay in the bathroom for hours raising and lowering the toilet seat to get food! Also, DO NOT use this device if there are children in the house. Finally, if you want to go High-Tech, hook the seat up to your home computer so that it won't open at all, except with the correct password. The male and female should each have a unique password so that the toilet opens in the appropriate position. And hey, if your partner forgets their password, then it's their problem, isn't it? Remember, as Erica Jong said: "You have to be liberated to laugh." Jim Collymore