stephen@alberta (09/16/83)
I am SICK and TIRED of people who get their backs up about a SINGLE
WORD, or even a single phrase, for that matter. Not only is it a
waste of energy, but it also runs the risk of creating needless
enemies (or at least non-friends).
Example:
When I was in grade 8, there was a student by the name of Mark
in grade 10 who was from Texas. Being from Texas, Mark had grown
up VERY used to alot of racially oriented language.
At times when I pulled something stupid, Mark was kind enough to
let me know that I had futzed up, but unfortunately his favorite
saying in such a situation was "come on -- act like a white man..".
Now- with me not being white, this could have been the cause of
problems. On the other hand:
1) Mark was TRYING not to use such language, but 15 years of
learned slang is a hard habit to break.
2) His complaints were made to my face rather than to my back. I
have respect for someone who takes problems to the source
rather than just slandering the party in question.
3) I recognised 1) and 2) and took his comments for what they WERE,
rather than what I "should have" taken them for: he was really
trying to help.
In time, we became the best of friends and mark came to overcome
MOST of what had taken him 15 years to learn by osmosis. I rarely
wonder what would have happened if I had made the "standard"
response to such obviously racial remarks. that experience has
tempered my reaction to racial/chauvinistic attitudes since that
time, and I have found such an attitude to be VERY helpful in
practice.
Obviously, the problem is on both sides of the fence.
Stephen Samuel
(alberta!stephen)