[net.women] Family Surnames

mason@utcsrgv.UUCP (Dave Mason) (09/27/83)

We've been married 7 years.  My wife chose to keep her name.  This doesn't
bother me (I occasionally get called Mr. Doucette - which I usually repond
to) but seems to drive nearly everyone else in the world crazy.  My mother
usually addresses mail to us and uses: "Dave & Beth, address, Toronto" -
no surnames at all.  A couple of months ago my father addressed a letter as
"Mr. & Mrs. Dave Mason" - I gave him hell, but he really didn't understand
what the big deal was (despite wanting to be referred to as "Mr Mason" or
"Pop" rather than by his first name).  My father-in-law always addressed letter
as "Beth Doucette, Mrs. Dave Mason" (presumably because he didn't want some
deliverer of mail to think she was "living in sin").  Many other people
seem to find the arrangement somewhat strange.

I don't completely understand why names bother people so much.  I will
answer to almost anything that is not obscene or rude.  From my perspective,
the only problem comes when/if we have kids.  Probably we will opt for
hyphenation (my wife feels this MUST be Mason-Doucette) although we were/are
toying with names like: Masette or Douson (if you ever want to see real
shock on parental faces tell them their grand-child is going to have some
unconventional name like these)  (I'd never typed those names out..not too
bad...)

Interested in hearing of other experiences...
 -- Dave Mason, U. Toronto CSRG,
        {cornell,watmath,ihnp4,floyd,allegra,utzoo,uw-beaver}!utcsrgv!mason
     or {decvax,linus,research}!utzoo!utcsrgv!mason   (UUCP)

perelgut@utcsrgv.UUCP (Stephen Perelgut) (09/27/83)

I am recently wed after years of cohabitation and my wife (hmmmm, feel funny)
is keeping her own surname.  This confuses and upset my parents a bit but
that is the least of our confusions.  Any other mixed marriages out there.
I am Jewish and she is Catholic.  Makes for fun lighting the Hannuka candles
around the Christmas tree (we have done this).

I rather enjoy teasing her by calling her Mrs. Perelgut, but she always turns
around and says "I don't see your mother anywhere."

For the record, we talked about childrens names and she is quite happy to
have them called <first_name> Perelgut.
-- 
Stephen Perelgut    Computer Systems Research Group    University of Toronto
	    Usenet:	{linus, ihnp4, allegra, decvax, floyd}!utcsrgv!perelgut
	    ARPA:	utcsrgv!perelgut@UW-BEAVER

rtf@ihuxw.UUCP (sparrow) (09/29/83)

I understand the good intentions of all people who desire to
retain their own names.  In fact, my sister was married recently
and I believe she plans to keep her own surname.  Many people
have pointed out that the biggest problem comes from other old
fashioned people and parents.  The hyphenated surname is more 
and more common these days.  Someone suggested Mason-Doucette
as the name they would give their offspring.  What people fail
to realize is that this practice becomes extremely cumbersome
after only one generation.  For example, Joe Mason-Doucette on
some day in the future may marry Jane Jubin-Frederick and have 
a baby girl.  Will her name be Mary Mason-Doucette-Jubin-Frederick?
This example ignores middle names which many people have.  It
seems that the hyphenated surname is only a good idea if you
own a single surname.  The idea of a hybrid surname appears
to be the only logical alternative.  EX.  Masette or Juberick.

Maybe only knicknames?
			like -->	sparrow

joe@fluke.UUCP (Joe Kelsey) (09/29/83)

In my circle of friends, we often "combine" the last names of married
or "paired" couples into an affectionate "nickname" which we use when
referring to them as a couple.  For instance, my last name (Kelsey)
combines well with my wife's (Terreberry) to form Kelseyberry.  Others
would be: combining Dill and Comerford into Dillford, etc.  We only do
this informally, but it's not a bad idea if your name is too long to
hyphenate.

One thing I have always wondered - if two people with hyphenated names
married, would they hyphenate their already hyphenated names into one
with four hyphens?!  This is a problem we will have to face sooner or
later if this trend toward hyphenation continues! :-)

/Joe

dxp@pyuxhh.UUCP (09/29/83)

I propose to augment the coming new year that instead of being called
Mary Mason-Doucette-Jubin-Frederick she could(should?) be called


            Mary MDJF840322 (840322 substituitable by appropiate birth date)