[net.women] Changing names after marriage

smb@achilles.UUCP (09/25/83)

I did not change my name when I got married because I've been known by
my name for 30+ years, and I don't feel like changing it.  Frankly, it
would be a royal pain -- sending out address change notices when I move
is annoying enough.  (My wife agrees; when I asked her to give a reason
why she kept her own name, she replied that it was the path of least
resistance.)  There are other reasons as well.  Professionally, I've
been using "Bellovin" for 15 years or so; I don't propose to cancel
whatever reputation I have by making it hard for people to associate
the current me with the past me.  Finally, in a rather primitive sense
I regard my name as part of me, almost defining me; to change my name
would be to change my personna.  (This is a stronger reason for women
to refrain from adopting their husband's name than for a couple to
decline a hyphenated name:  it's one thing to "merge" ones' selves and
become a new unit (and kinda nice, in an overly romantic way); it's
quite another to surrender one's identity to another.)

So -- I will not, under any circumstances, change my name, whether to
someone else's name, to a hyphenated name, or to an invented name.  By
the same token, I will not ask anyone else to change their name on my
behalf.

preece@uicsl.UUCP (09/29/83)

#R:achilles:-62600:uicsl:16400022:000:1207
uicsl!preece    Sep 28 10:57:00 1983

		  There are other reasons as well.  Professionally, I've
	been using "Bellovin" for 15 years or so; I don't propose to cancel
	whatever reputation I have by making it hard for people to associate
	the current me with the past me.
----------
This is a real problem. I've been involved in the indexing of the
Annual Review of Information Science and Technology for several years. 
In that time we have had to cross reference a number of prominent female
researchers whose names have changed by marriage and divorce. There's
no way the casual seeker after knowledge is going to tie those women's
work together into a single, reputation-building mass. At the very
least a woman with a professional reputation should USE her maiden name
as a middle name; if the positions were reversed I would probably try
to keep my own name. This does, however, lead to confusion in credit
matters, leases, introductions, and the like...

scott preece
pur-ee!uiucdcs!uicsl!preece

[As context, my wife did take my name, but uses her maiden name as a
middle name; her sister used her maiden name for a long time, switched
just before divorcing, then kept the married name until she married
again (least resistance, i guess)]

engels@ihuxs.UUCP (10/03/83)

I changed to my husband's name because when applying for a marriage
liscense, the woman behind the counter informed me that I would
have to fill out several extra forms to keep my own name and it would
take several weeks--my wedding was only one week away.