garys@bunkerb.UUCP (Gary Samuelson) (10/06/83)
It is advantageous to have a common married name; for one thing it makes it obvious that you are married. Hyphenation tends toward the ridiculous; besides the fact that it doesn't solve the problem of what surname the children get. It is perceived as sexist that the woman give up her name and take his. I suggest that both parties give up their previous names and take a third, suggesting even more strongly that this is a new life. I further suggest that those who wish to do it the traditional way be allowed to do so. Gary Samuelson
preece@uicsl.UUCP (10/08/83)
#R:cca:-582300:uicsl:16400027:000:1570 uicsl!preece Oct 7 10:22:00 1983 The concept that people "starting a new life as a single unit" is cute and perhaps romantic in the eyes of some, but the fact that the man does not change his name makes it all too clear who the "surviving unit" is. ---------- There is one problem with this. Does anyone have statistics on relative rate of divorce for couples in which the wife keeps her name? I think it's important that the members of a marriage be equal partners. I wish we had a tradition of changing both names, though, to reflect the fact that they are becoming part of something new. A marriage is not just two individuals sharing a house. If in retaining your birth name you are rejecting ANY loss of individuality, you shouldn't be getting married. The whole point to marriage is that it represents a subjugation of self to family. That subjugation should be mutual, hence I'd like to see husbands take a new name, too, with both retaining their birth names as middle names to reflect the importance of their individual nurturance. Unfortunately, our society doesn't have that tradition, and the change would be even harder than retaining the wife's birth name. So, I think that whichever way you go you should be very careful to remember what you're hiding by your name convention: if the wife retains her birth name, you should work to remember that the difference in name is hiding a merging of interests; if the wife changes her name, you should work to remember that the husband's prior use of the name is hiding the wife's equal share in it. scott preece pur-ee!uiucdcs!uicsl!preece