[net.women] call me anything, but...

pc@hplabsb.UUCP (Patricia Collins) (12/10/83)

	I cannot understand anyone's refusal to call me what I prefer
to be called.  As an example, my name is "Patricia."  I have always
gone by that name; even my family calls me "Patricia."  For some reason,
when I meet someone new who asks my name and I say, "Patricia," I
almost invariably get called "Pat" sometime during the conversation.
That's not too bad, but sometimes the person calls me "Patty" or "Patsy"
which I do object to.  In my experience, the people who make the leap
from "Patricia" to "Patty" ALSO tend to be condescending in their 
communications with me.  These are the people who will tell me they
think it's "neat" that I can design electronic circuits (with the inference
that what's remarkable is that I'm a woman (girl?) AND an electrical
engineer) or who assume that I am the department secretary.

	My sister is a clinical chemist in medical technology.  This
is a field in which the lowest paid positions are almost exclusively
filled by women and the upper ranks are almost exclusively filled by
men.  The women do the work and the men make decisions.  My sister
often refers to the women she works with as "the girls."  Although this
hits a dischordant note for me, she is quite comfortable with it.  I
believe that her reference implies a "sisterhood" and may also reflect
an unconscious acceptance of their status in the organization.

	I don't like to be referred to as a "girl."  I'm a woman.  It
seems that lacking any other evidence, one should use the "proper" term
when referring to a particular female or group of females: If they're
children and gender is relevant, call them "girls."  If they are adults
and gender is relevant, call them "women."  If a woman tells you she 
prefers to be called a "girl," you needn't concern yourself further with
what the dictionary says she REALLY is.

						Patricia Collins
						hplabs