tims@shark.UUCP (Tim Stoehr) (12/15/83)
I decided to modify the cucumber article for men, it looks surprisingly the same. watermelons don't leave lipstick marks, fall asleep under your chest, or drool on the pillow. A watermelon won't give you a hickey. watermelons can do it without hours of foreplay ...And you won't have to sleep in the wet spot. watermelons can handle rejection. A watermelon won't have a headache. A watermelon won't have that time of the month. A watermelon never wants to get it on when you don't. A watermelon won't give it up for Lent. With a watermelon, you never have to say you're sorry. A watermelon never has to call "the husband". watermelons can get away any weekend. With a watermelon, you can get a single room... ...And you won't have to check in as "Mr. watermelon". A watermelon won't ask that you respect it in the morning. A watermelon doesn't have to be touched "just right" A watermelon won't ask, "Am I the first?" watermelons don't care if you're a virgin. watermelons won't tell other watermelons you're a virgin. watermelons won't tell anyone you're not a virgin any more. With watermelons, you don't have to be a virgin more than once. watermelons are easy to pick up. You can fondle a watermelon in the supermarket, and you'll know how soft it is before you take it home. You can have your melon and eat it too! watermelons aren't jealous of your urologist, ski instructor or hairstylist. A watermelon won't join your club. watermelons won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one. A watermelon will never make a scene because there are other watermelons in the refrigerator. With a watermelon, the toilet seat is always the way you left it; up.