welsch@houxu.UUCP (Larry Welsch) (01/22/84)
(to the eater of first lines) Sophie Quigley made a very interesting observation with respect to rape, prisons and the on going debate. I quote below. I agree that one could act tough and try to show each and every man one knows that one will not take any bullshit. Do you realize what this means? spending your whole life putting on an act of being tough and not letting your defenses down. What kind of a poisoned existence is that? What I want to do is to take these statements out of context and into the male western world as I perceive it, not with respect to women, but rather with respect to the way men treat each other. I will make many generalizations that are not always true, but from my experiences they are more frequently true than not. First, men are taught to show each other that they will not take any bullshit. Look at the games men play with each other as kids, and what game is thought to build character, football. Almost all games men are expected to play emphasize winning through either strategy as in chess, or through strength and agility as is baseball, or through demolishing the opponent as in boxing. Not only that, but the admired hero is the one who plays despite pain. The tough one. Second, when men first meet each other there is a general sizing up based almost entirely on how tough they are. Gentleness, strength, character, all have very little to do with it. Being the meanest son of a bitch in the valley has a lot to do with it. In short, being screwed in male activities and business is a male activity is part of the game and accepted. Whiners, complainers, people who don't know the rules are looked down upon. Generally getting screwed by a company is viewed as competitiveness. Third, men don't play by rules or fairness and are taught that whatever they can get away with is what is fair. Take for example baseball, look at the "brush back" pitch. There is nothing fair or part of the game about that pitch. It's just a matter of what you can get away with. Next to the question of what this means, "spending your whole life putting on an act of being tough and not letting your defenses down." Yes, this is what men do, and it is vicious, particularly in business and engineering. And if you think its tough there, try the armed services, or prison. There all the niceties of civilization and law are stripped away and men deal with each other strictly on a level of toughness, ie. who is the meanest sob. It is not a great life. Yes, it is a poisoned existence. The way men deal with it is to have some portion of their lives where they don't have to act that way. Usually that is at home. You see men expect to get support from the home to be able to go out and deal with world. Hence, the roles of the supportive woman and the male defender. I don't personally agree with these roles. What I unfortunately see feminism doing is dealing with the problem of making women more aggressive (assertive), but not with the problem of making men more supportive. In short I would like to see more importance given to those qualities generally considered feminine. What will happen if this does not occur is that we will all try to be the meanest sob's in the valley. Larry Welsch houxu!welsch