gulley@stolaf.UUCP (William T. Gulley) (02/21/84)
Your article put it's finger on something that I've wondered
about for quite a while, and I'm extremely interested in seeing
what kind of responses you get. My current impression is as follows;
It seems that this is a direct reflection of the particular "Aggres-
ive-male-go-get-passive-female" more (concerning relationships) of
the society that we, for better or for worse, still live in.
seems like you can only really get beyond the "sexual tension" that
results from any interaction between the sexes, by having it al-
leviated by "being taken", in a more-or-less socially proclaimed
sense, whether by having a girl/boyfriend, fiance, or "worse". (?)
Unfortunately, this more tends (yes- we all know this) to result
in a humongous burden on the male to, "Go, GO, boy, get that babe!",
and thereby prove his masculinity.
Also, in my observation, it seems to eventually elicit a distrust
with those unfortunate members of the female sex that have to deal
with this attitude of certain males constantly, a distrust born of
an uncertainty of whether this male that's playing up to her is doing
it because of a sincere attraction for her, or merely to prove his
masculinity.
The problem there is, who can females relate to in an open, honest
fashion? Those men, of course, that you see as having "bridged the
gap", that, through by either proving themselves worthy of the trust
of another woman, or by, after a long hesitation, by proving them-
selves worthy of theirs. It takes time, but how else are you sup-
posed to know?
The above mentioned impressions are, by no means stated as if
I am an authority on the subject, and any reasonable amendations or
critiques on it are certainly welcome. If they have insulted your
intelligence by their sheer basicness, I apologize. But they rep-
resent not only my impressions, but also the impressions of many other
people whom I've corresponded with on this subject, and if they are
mistaken in any way, it is not from lack of sincerity, but lack of
communication. If there is a solution to it, I can see it only lying
in an honest doing away with the ALL of the "harmless" little cliches
and cliques that have developed among the respective sexes, not only
in the acting out of them, but also in the mere respect given to them
in our thoughts. (Without either sex trying to assert anything but
their individual personhood. The Lord made us as individual men and
women; individuals first, men and women second- we might as well see
ourselves that way) Since I don't see it as probable that that kind
of massive change is going to come over society tomorrow, for now
it seems that the only real solution is going to have to come on the
individualistic level, anyway.
____
"A dream to some. . . a NIGHTMARE to others!!"
William Gulley - St. Olaf College - Northfield, MN 55057
. .!inhp4!stolaf!gulley