mokhtar@ubc-vision.CDN (Farzin Mokhtarian) (03/26/84)
I like to talk about the subject of stereotypical behaviour in men and women
exactly because it is such a taboo even in our modern! times and because I
believe that it is the root of so many problems people face. (If it is not a
taboo, then for some strange reason no one wants to talk about it and I find
that very hard to believe).
Women might have been considered to be more `restricted' than men by the
social rules of their society. I don't feel this is true. A man can be just
as restricted as a woman if he is not keen on showing stereotypical behaviour.
This is why I wouldn't be likely to accept a woman's reasoning if she said
that after so many years of conditioning she found it very hard not to be
like that. A human being is not like a special purpose machine to be programmed
once and for all to show a particular kind of behavior. The programming can
change if the effort is made. It won't be easy but that is a different story.
Another thought related to this subject which will probably(?) encourage
some responses. It seems to me that the modern feminist movement has spent
so much energy trying to achieve more `power' for women,i.e., more economic
power, power of keeping the kid(s) after the divorce, power of being able to
punish men who do injustice to women, so on. All of that is fine as long as
they are not carried too far. But it is also regretable that so little
attention has been given by the same movement to the `social barriers' caused
by stereotypical behaviour assigned to each one of us as soon as we are born.
That's when the split starts. Not in the office or on the street or after the
marriage and the real repairing should be than there.
Final thought: Women might have been content thinking that they have the
choice (or power) of rejecting an undesirable man if asked and hence they
don't need to push for more in that respect. That kind of thinking would
fail to see the fact that the final control of the selection process still
remains with the man. Yes, she can reject but she can reject only those who
have already selected her. The `power' of `rejecting' is secondary compared
to the power of `selecting'.
Perhaps an example would help even though differences exist. If you were
to `pick' the best `apple' from a basket, which one of the following
alternatives would offer you greater freedom:
(a) Simply being able to get any apple you want, (or at least be able to try
for whichever you want, or,
(b) Having to wait for someone else to offer you only some of those apples
and only be able to accept or reject that offering ?
-- Farzin Mokhtarian
(sorry, no fancy keyboard art)