sims@hou2b.UUCP (J.SIMESTER) (03/21/84)
The following comes from a USA Today (3/21/84, page 3B) review
of the book "Power Lunching: How You Can Profit From More
Effective Business Lunch Strategy" by E. Melvin Pinsel and Ligita
Dienhart.
On flirting and the power lunch: It's OK if it will help
you to gain an edge. Men: Try "Your voice sounded so
scintillating on the phone, I tried visualizing your
appearance, and I must say you surpassed all expectations."
Women: Try "placing your hand over his at the table as
you're making a point," or removing your shoe and kicking
him gently under the table.
Certainly neither of these would be appropriate business behavior
for dealing with MOTSS. The interesting thing to me is that the
suggestion for men sounds like a blatant, transparent pick-up
line. If the roles were reversed, I would find it insulting if
I were a serious business-person, but would probably let it pass
if it meant getting what I was after (the realist in me overules
the idealist). In any event, the intent of the line should be
rather obvious to all but the most naive or vain.
The suggestion for women, on the other hand, is more subtle,
suggestive, and physical. It seems to me to be MUCH more open
to misinterpretation - and for that reason, probably much more
effective in achieving its purpose! How many women out there
would fail to see through the man's approach? How many men would
not be flattered and in some way influenced by the woman's (be
honest!) For that matter, why is it that the man is told to be
verbal and the woman to "get physical?" Has yet another double
standard been established wherein men touching women is sexist
while the reverse is company policy?
I haven't read the book, so I can't say if it treats both sexes
more equally on the subject of flirting for gain when read in its
entirety. However, I did find the excerpt to be food for thought.
Rather than delve deeper, at this point I'll just throw the subject
open for reactions. (Please note - I personally don't buy using
sex to do business in any way, form, shape, or manner, be it stupid
remarks or playing footsie under the table. The questions raised
above are intended to stimulate discussion, and do not necessarily
reflect the feelings of their originator. :-) )
--
Jim
..!houxm!hou2b!simsjbf@ccieng5.UUCP (Jens Bernhard Fiederer) (03/28/84)
The reason verbal behavior is suggested for the male, and tactile for the female, is that a woman can usually get away with such behavior. Because women (according to stereotype) do not physically "threaten" a man, on the average no offense will be taken. A man stereotypically DOES threaten a woman, and therefore usually can not get away with touching a relative stranger. Verbal flirting from a man is expected by many women even if there is no serious intent behind it. I have never had a bad reaction to one of my rare compliments, no matter how corny it sounded (actually, I haven't had bad reactions to my touching women either, but that is probably because I have always been cautious in such matters -- I almost never do it). Azhrarn -- Reachable as ....allegra![rayssd,rlgvax]!ccieng5!jbf Or just address to 'native of the night' and trust in the forces of evil.