jamcmullan@watmath.UUCP (Judy McMullan) (04/05/84)
>...After checking her timing carefully, and arranging a one-night stand, >S became pregnant by the man, but unbeknownst to him... >...he hadn't inquired about whether she was using birth control and >therefore she felt under no obligation to enlighten him... > >Do you think this man was taken advantage of or did he simply waive >his "rights" when he agreed to the one-night stand w/o ensuring protection. He WAS taken advantage of but he did also waive his 'rights'. I would do the same as S and give the same answer. I get supremely pissed off when a man, who is about to have intercourse with me, does not mention birth control. Doesn't he understand what's at stake? On the other hand, I would ALSO support the efforts of a woman, who became pregnant, to try to get some support for the child (if she kept it) from the man involved. The ONLY reason for that is because of the historical obligations of men in this regard (i.e. a lot of men have 'kept' women who have borne children by them). I think many women would expect it. (Not me, I take care of myself). --I mean, I wouldn't support a calculating women who decided that she wants a child of her own and wants some 'sucker' to help pay. That is not the same as the innocent who believes that this man who is going to bed with her loves her (and thus their offspring, too) and will take care of her. I see this woman as young (probably as teen-ager). There is also some risk of birth control failure, no matter WHO you are. Actually, people should ALSO discuss their expectations of each other in the case of an accidental pregnancy (of course, sometimes these tricky questions would lead to so much animosity the couple would NEVER get into bed!!). Please understand that I, myself, would not expect support from some man. I am not a wide-eyed innocent anymore (but I sure was as a teen-ager!!) and I am perfectly able to support myself and any children I might accidentally have. However, I do feel very sorry for women who have been abandoned when they got pregnant. It is far more serious than NOT knowing you have fathered a child. Well, ideals aside, the bare facts of the matter are that sexual intercourse can lead to all sorts of complications and either party can end up feeling very used. Conception is one of the knottiest problems a couple can deal with and either party may be very surprised by the feelings of the other. Also, either party can get screwed (the other sense). These are the risks. --from the sssstickkky keyboard of JAM ...!{allegra|decvax}!watmath!jamcmullan