[net.women] Love, Feminism and the double standard

pauls@tekecs.UUCP (Paul Sweazey) (04/09/84)

I wish to live in a world where women are not inhibited from
pursuing their chosen course of life, and where it is no harder
for women to rise to the limits of their potential than men.

I have no interest in the world many of you seem to desire--
where it is hypocritical to treat men and women differently.

What if you feel differently about women than men?  I do.  Don't
you?

Perhaps the most underused word in this newsgroup is LOVE.  In
its many forms and degrees it is the most important element in
determining the quality of life.  How can these discussions about
how men and women treat eachother avoid the word love, and still
refer to the real world?

I love my children.  My spoiled little Lara Lee is almost four
years old.  I am always kissing, holding, cuddling her.  I must.
I need her.  While it is not strictly sexual, it is definitely
a physical attraction.  To feel those tiny arms squeezing my
neck is very special to me.  Most little babies illicit the same
feelings in me these days.  (Note:  Little babies form a class of
people that illicit a spontaneous positive attraction in me.)  It
does not mean that I always grab babies away from their parents
to hold them.  (Just sometimes.)  However irrational, I love babies.

I love my wife. (You may fill in the details yourself this time.)
I need her.  While it is not just sexual, sex is a big part of
that attraction.  Most women illicit some of those same feelings
in me.  In fact, that was true long before I met her.  That is why
we got together in the first place.  It is no less natural to be
attracted to women now than before I was married.  And the attraction
is not purely sexual either.  I like being treated with kindness
and respect and compassion.  As a gross generalization women are
kinder, more respectful and more compassionate than men.  (At least
to me.)

SWEAZEY'S THEOREM:  It is okay to treat women differently than men.

It is NATURAL.  We all LOVE eachother.  The character of that love
is a function of many things, including our sex.  To deny this is to
assert that heterosexual love (and the resulting perpetuation of the
species) is sexual bigotry.

SWEAZEY'S COROLLARY:  It is not okay to treat women worse than men or
men worse than women.

And that, my friends, is the part we are all trying to figure out.

					Paul Sweazey
					tektronix!tekecs!pauls

P.S.
My apologies in advance to those who know me, and think it hypocritical
for one so well known as rude, blunt, and cruel to speak of love.  I
don't want to be that way.  It just comes so naturally.  Perhaps it is
because I am (as my wife says) "just a boy".

dim@charm.UUCP (Gina M. Dimino) (04/11/84)

"Though not strictly sexual , it is definitely a physical attraction . . . 
most little babies illicit these feelings in me."

HOLY SHIT !!