roberta@azure.UUCP (Roberta Taussig) (04/12/84)
I think the current debate over whether women should use flirtatious behaviors to facilitate work interactions misses a fairly significant point. The sides seem to be divided between "it's power, use it" and "hypocrisy sucks". The missed middle ground is the fact that very little human behavior is clearly "sincere" or "phony" except in pathological cases. I smile in a personal way at a man I'm discussing technical matters with. The smile probably has in it elements of genuine pleasure at his company, the desire to grease the social wheels a bit, the knowledge that a little charm from me may get me more from him than I would otherwise have gotten, and my social conditioning as a woman to smile whenever possible. The elements of genuine pleasure and the recog- nition of the beneficial side-effects of my behavior are both there and are all mixed up together. There may be more or less of any of the ingredients. I feel a little abashed at allowing the personal response to intrude into a professional interaction, a little ashamed of myself for knowing the effects of my smile in so coldly rational a way, and more than a little smug at having some tool that gives me additional leverage. I also feel pleased enough with my companion to make the warmth in the smile undeniably genuine. It is power, and I will use it. There are elements of hypocrisy in it, and I wish there weren't. And it makes both of us feel good, and I like that. Are all the subscribers to net.women so very young that they think everything is only one thing at a time? Roberta Taussig ..tektronix!tekmdp!roberta Tektronix Beaverton, Oregon 97005
liberte@uiucdcs.UUCP (04/16/84)
#R:azure:-270100:uiucdcs:31600070:000:870
uiucdcs!liberte Apr 15 22:46:00 1984
/**** uiucdcs:net.women / azure!roberta / 1:32 am Apr 14, 1984 ****/
...The sides
seem to be divided between "it's power, use it" and "hypocrisy sucks". The
missed middle ground is the fact that very little human behavior is clearly
"sincere" or "phony" except in pathological cases....
Are all the subscribers to net.women so very young that they think everything
is only one thing at a time?
Roberta Taussig
..tektronix!tekmdp!roberta
Tektronix
Beaverton, Oregon 97005
/* ---------- */
It seems a natural tendancy for us (Americans? Westerners? Humans?) to split
things apart, to dichotamize, to see things black and white. While there
may be true absolutes, it is very difficult to be sure.
Daniel LaLiberte, U of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, Computer Science
{moderation in all things - including moderation}
+
{all absolutes are false - including this one}