randy@umcp-cs.UUCP (04/03/84)
I heard a true story several years ago and then later met the woman in question. I've thought about it many times since then and would like to air it out now for your comments. (I'll call her "S".) S, a woman of around 30 or so, decided while she wasn't ready to get married (either not willing to make the commitment, or hadn't found the right person, or whatever), she did want a child. The problem of course was procuring a father. Living in Chicago at the time, S looked around and found a satisfactory man. (That is, he satisfied whatever criteria; personality, intelligence, appearance, etc., that she required for the father of her child.) After checking her timing carefully, and arranging a one-night stand, S became pregnant by the man, but unbeknownst to him. She then left town for New England to raise the child in a group house (which, incidentally, contained several men). When asked later why she didn't tell the man her plans either before, during or after, she replied that he hadn't inquired about whether she was using birth control and therefore she felt under no obligation to enlighten him. Does this get back to that "implicit contract" business recently discussed in net.women? It seems like a tricky situation to me. For example, how important is it that this man is today walking around unknowingly the father of a (rather cute) baby girl? Do you think this man was taken advantage of or did he simply waive his "rights" when he agreed to the one-night stand w/o ensuring protection. -- Randy Trigg ...!seismo!umcp-cs!randy (Usenet) randy%umcp-cs@CSNet-Relay (Arpanet)
rh@mit-eddie.UUCP (Randy Haskins) (04/16/84)
At first, I said, "Hell, no, nothing wrong with that." But then, after a while, I started thinking of the metaphysical consequences of this sort of thing (those of you who don't believe in such things, stop here). It seems that the child would have some of the father's character in her character, and it might affect him in some way which he will be unable to understand. Of course, the concept of having sex with someone without determining the status of birth control is totally alien to me (actually, I can think of a couple of wierd situations in my life, but they're not relevant to the topic here...), so maybe he got what he deserved. I know that I, for my part, could not do what she did without telling the other person involved, even if he didn't ask. -- Randwulf (Randy Haskins); Path= genrad!mit-eddie!rh