mmr@wuphys.UUCP (Martha Minton Reiner) (04/20/84)
o o Well, I'd like to bring up 2 new (?) topics tht I'd like to see some discussion about on the net. 1.) I have been married for 4 years now and have an excellent (stable, happy) marriage. I also have a girlfriend of 12 years who has been living w/ her boyfriend for 4 years. Whenever the subject of of marriage comes up, it creates a strident discussion between us. Obviously I am pro-marriage in respect to long-term relationships and she is adamantly against it, never mind how stable and happy the couple is. Unfortunately for me, her arugments seem based on fact rather than feelings; whereas, my arguments seem to deal with intangibles: committment, sincerity, proof of love, society's treatment of the 2 kinds of relationships (marriage vs. co-hab). She has reams of articles that portray marriages as being the male domination of women. For example, in Missouri apparently there is this archaeic law that states: upon marriage, the husband's legal residence becomes the wife's residence. This affects tuition prices to state schools. Say I've lived in Mo. for years and I get married to an Ill. resident. The day I marry I must pay non-resident tuition prices if I go to the Univ. of Mo., South East Mo. State, or etc. So I guess my questions are: Why marry? Why did you or someone you know get married/decide against marriage in favor of permenant co-habitation? My secong topic is this. 2.) A good friend of mine who happens to be a radical feminist wanted to get more involved in feminist issues and joined a radical feminist group here in Missouri which shall remain nameless (unless privately requested). After learning that my friend was/is living with a male they decided that she just couldn't be serious about her intentions and proceeded to ostrasize her from the group. She felt uncomfortable and left. She feels that this group shouldn't have limits on life's different choices on personal issues, and that the mere fact that she associates w/ men doesn't make her any less dedicated than those same members of that feminist group. A good example is Gloria Steinam* who has had a long term relationship w/ a man for (atleast 20?) years. So I guess my question is: Has anyone else encountered this kind of attitude and how did/do you feel about it? *refering to the above 1st article, Gloria once said in answer to a reporter who asked why she has never gotten married, "I can't mate in captivity".