cmgiuliani@watrose.UUCP (Carlo) (04/21/84)
Personally, I have never faced the choice between marraige and Co-hab
but I know two couples who married after living together for extended periods.
1 -- An uncle and a woman (who is now my aunt) who was a nun for some time.
They lived together for over 2 years before marrying. I do not know
exactly why they decided to marry, but I believe it was largely to please
their families, both being catholic. During the ceremony the priest, who
had known Rita when she was a nun (a novice, actually), mentioned that
they had been together for 2 years, and that the marraige was
"a celebration of their love."
2 -- A couple who are neighbours of my parents. They had been living together
for 7 years and had one four-year-old child. Wishing to adopt a child,
they found that they could only do so if they were married. So they got
married. Ironically, Donna became accidently pregnant shortly after the
marraige (on the wedding night, one wonders) and so they never did adopt
a child.
Clearly, marraige was not very important to either of the above couples.
Now is it repulsive to them. In one case a celebration, in the other case
a formality. My point is that marraige is simply less powerful that it was
in the past. It's power for better or for worse is reduced and contines to
reduce. In short, I think that the choice is immaterial.
On the other hand, I also know two young women who married without having
lived with the man in question, and regretted it most bitterly. For the
very young/inexperienced, I would recommend Co-hab strongly. At least for
warm-ups.