chabot@amber.DEC (Lisa Chabot) (06/13/84)
SubSubj: Lucy and Desi and the American Dream I don't know who posted the ">>" but ... mako!tims is quoted in ">" : >> Anecdote #1. Yesterday I watched the movie The Long, Long Trailer with >> Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. Lucy and Desi drive a trailer through the US >> on their honeymoon. A friend and I were amazed at some of the dialogue, >> Lucy made several comments about marrying to "take care of" Desi, etc. >> This was the *classic* "a woman without a man is like nothing" theme. > This is a classic example all right; a classic example of a woman > distorting and twisting something in order to fit it into her ideology, > despite any reality or logic getting in the way. If you look at the > above quote, you'll see that a woman claimed to have married a man to > take care of him, that is, HE needed HER. The only way this could be > construed to mean that women need men is to somehow infer that the woman > in this case needed to take care of a man. But even so, the real > message is that men need to be taken care of by women, and not that This is a classic example of someone not letting ENOUGH reality or logic (or television) get in the way. Ah, Lucille Ball and "I Love Lucy", one of my favorite topics. A reflective evening during my senior days (those were the good years!) I pondered just what significant adult female role models I had available to me when I was growing up. Close range, there was my family which included only married women (and a few widows) almost none of whom worked for pay, at school there were married women teachers but they were transitory loves, discarded in June, and somehow I sensed their roles were more shadow that substance--teachers aren't important. Not like the Lone Ranger! Not like Zorro! Here, in television and in movies were real people, important people, big people, bigger than life! OK, calm down, but what about actual people who are significant because of their accomplishments, people alive when I was young (ruling out missing aviators, founding nurses, or saints) that I would have knowledge of (ruling out most serious actresses like Kathryn Hepburn)? Who should loom over me but Lucille Ball! A giant! No, really, she had to struggle through many prejudices to assert herself as capable of being funny. But somehow, I was depressed: was it only because the woman I had found was a clown (I mean, how many men would be discouraged by the characters portrayed by Chaplin), or was it rather something having to do with the fact that I could only think of one woman, and she was a clown, and she was a clown about only ordinary, household things (I mean, like, what woman ever promulgated Truth, Justice, and the American Way of life (you know, frozen waffles)). I recently watched an episode of "I Love Lucy" recently in which Lucy was trying to convince a couple to get married by showing them her example of a happy family. The only good thing that was said about the marriage was that Lucy saved Ricky money. The advantages of companionship were not stated, because Lucy had meant to imply this from her obviously happy home; but Ricky, ruffled because he thought the couple should not be given any pressure, did his best to disrupt the happy home image and to denigrate Lucy's homemaker capabilities and her personality: outrageous lies about her breakfast cooking were followed by remarks concerning her grooming and her honesty. At a superficial, conversational level with the guest couple, the Ricky expressed no need for Lucy, only her utility in saving some money, and her skill in this area was explained by citing ridiculous culinary frugalities. But those who have watched the show know that also a good deal of affection and love and companionship was expressed, in other scenes. My example is drawn from a spat, and is therefore biased in that mostly negative things were said about the marriage, and looking at the rest of the episode one will also notice many positive features of the marriage. But if we step back once again, and look at the patterns in the depicted relationship, we see that when Lucy steps out of line, Ricky becomes angry, they disagree and perhaps fight, they make up and compromise, but in that compromise Ricky may acknowledge his short temper, but Lucy surrenders her independence. In my example, Ricky apologized for his sharp words (but not for the potential for having ridiculed her in front of their friends, who may not have interpreted his mockery as joking), and Lucy apologizes for having pursued her idea of inviting the friends over--not because it was a potentially risky thing to do (if for example, the friends were over- sensitive to pressure, or the family uncooperative (the baby cried a lot)) but because Ricky had said not to. Comparing the personalities depicted of Lucy and Ricky, Ricky is clearly a winner and Lucy is a loser. Ricky holds an exciting job, and despite the fun made of his occasional hot temper, he is a dignified character. Lucy has red hair and therefore also has an excitable temperament (as expected, since this meets with our stereotypes)(hmm...does this mean Ethyl has more fun?), but in spite of her stately carriage, she is the buffoon--she's clumsy,accident-prone, and her conscious expressions are silly muggings. This wouldn't be so bad, but buffoonery isn't limited to klutziness around the house, it colors and constricts every scheme Lucy attempts: anything she attempts independently of Ricky gets botched. She invites the couple over and everything at home goes wrong; there are other examples such as the salad-dressing scheme, or the assembly-line scene, or the Spanish lessons. Yes, it's all funny, I laughed, but it's oppressively predictable. Many of the schemes were even attempted with the hope of impressing Ricky or proving some very minor level of independence, but they fail and the message of the reconciliation at the end of it all is that Ricky didn't really want her to try, and although he smoothes her feathers he usually includes an admonition that she really shouldn't have attempted the scheme. In other words, we find that Ricky neither needs nor wants a spouse able to take care of herself, and that she'd really better concentrate on not burning the chicken. Her self-expression is amusing in its lack of success, but we are left with the impression it is only tolerated out of this combination of affection and amusement. What in the world does Ricky need Lucy for? The utilitarian feature of saving money isn't really something needed. The relationship is sustaining to Lucy, because Ricky is obviously needed to take care of Lucy and provide a shield between her and the world, and perhaps he also provides a reason for her not to become suicidally depressed over her innate ineptitude, with his affection and his allowing her to take care of his household. Ricky's expressed needs might lead us to an interpretation that above the affection in the relationship, Ricky needs more to be placed on a pedestal and worshiped for his wisdom and foresight (he often has an initial skepticism about Lucy's schemes). This may not actually be a need of Ricky, but more of someone who needed to express in television that men's decisions should prevail. Lucy Ricardo's life wouldn't be so sad to me if it hadn't been reflecting and reflected in the home life I saw myself. Women got criticized for details of house- cleaning or culinary skill, and often lacked the minor independence of being able to drive a car to the store; women who didn't shape up and correct the flaws in cleaning and cooking were bad and careless, independent women were frowned upon. Women's minds in general were not taken seriously, and their expressive efforts, like Lucy's, were generally to be tolerated with amusement, at best. Horrible, horrible. I never wanted to grow up to have to wear curlers and bizarre beauty creams to bed, but I was afraid I would be forced to. I slipped out of line and hid, at about eleven and a half. Don't tell! Lisa Chabot UUCP: ...decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-amber!chabot ARPA: ...chabot%amber.DEC@decwrl.ARPA USFail: DEC, MR03-1/K20, 2 Iron Way, Marlborough, MA 01752 shadow: ...decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-avalon!chabot