riddle@ut-sally.UUCP (Prentiss Riddle) (08/21/84)
Pete Wilson (plw@mgweed.UUCP) wonders about the credibility and the
implications of a survey reported in the September issue of the women's
magazine "Redbook" which cited "being raped or forced to have sex" as
women's second most popular sexual fantasy.
Haven't you ever had a fantasy, sexual or otherwise, which you knew all
along would be highly unenjoyable if it ever really happened? I know I
have, and I suspect most of us have such fantasies all the time. To
name a very simple example, what child hasn't daydreamed about being
shipwrecked, orphaned, or made to endure some great hardship? The
daydream was fun even through the real experience would have been
anything but fun. So is it often with sexual fantasies as well. If
rape is in fact a common sexual fantasy among women (something I've
often heard before and from more reputable sources than "Redbook"),
it doesn't reduce the despicability of the real thing one bit.
Of course, any fantasy involving cruelty can become dangerous if the
distinction between fantasy and reality becomes blurred, particularly
if the cruelty is oriented toward some other person rather than toward
oneself. I would be the first to agree that sexuality in this culture
involves far too much cruelty toward and domination of women, and I
think we all (and especially we men) need to think more about what rape
and lesser forms of abuse really mean. Once you've thought through to
the reality of rape, it's harder to summon up the suspension of
disbelief necessary to enjoy the fantasy.
Still, not every child who points a finger and says, "Bang! You're
dead!" is a homicidal sadist; similarly, not every man or woman who
fantasizes of forced sex is a potential rapist or a willing victim.
--- Prentiss Riddle ("Aprendiz de todo, maestro de nada.")
--- {ihnp4,harvard,seismo,gatech,ctvax}!ut-sally!riddle