nerad@closus.DEC (08/27/84)
{libation...}
Remember a while ago when I got thick and heavy into the discussion of the
length of women's hair as a cultural symbol...?
Well, recently I had a shocking experience which I would like to share with the
readers of this newsgroup because I am beginning to wonder how widespread this
is.
I love my parents dearly. They are a couple of the best people I know. But
like most folks, they have their blind spots. My father spent a lot of time,
and lost a job or so in the 60's, over his civil rights political activities.
I have always thought of him as being fairly open minded, and myself also.
But my best friend has never gotten along very well with my folks. Things
always seem to happen to prevent her from coming with me when I go up to visit
them. Finally recently, we were discussing my folks, and the reason behind
this came out.
My best friend is a blond, with pale (blue/grey) eyes. ("She wouldn't
understand what hardship is--things will have always come to her easily..."
echoes from the past.) My parents unthinkingly have developed a reverse
discriminatory attitude against "aryan" types!
My friend has a little (very blond) daughter, three years old. I have never
understood why my friend is reluctant to leave her with me for babysitting,
etc. Whereas I have always considered myself to be relatively free of bad
attitudes to pass on to a kid, now I wonder--will I unconsciously encourage
"blond" attitudes in little Guin? I am getting really cagy about this--I feel
like I have to watch myself around people all the time to look for this
aesthetic vs. ethic prejudice.
I had thought I had no harmfully discriminatory attitudes. I have begun to
re-evaluate this. How much of this is true to how many people:
Women with blond hair tend to have no minds. They are (submissive) social
butterflies. When they are admitted to, it is on a pedastal. They
don't have to work for what they get.
Women with brunette hair are competitive and often hard to deal with.
They work too hard to get what they want.
Women with red hair are unpredictable, powerful, and have bad tempers.
Women with black hair are predictable and dependable, strong and quiet.
Intellectually, I don't believe ANY of this. But I have noticed that this is
something that has tendancies to show itself in cultural conditioning both of
the observer and the observed.
Several women I have spoken to have an immediate reaction of "Oh, that's just
men who care about those things." until they think about it a little harder.
Most women I have spoken to never have thought about it, but many believe that
it influences them, once the concept is presented.
Most men I speak to believe that it influences them--and the ones that say
that they have been aware of it are the ones I consider to be more
successfully socialized! (That doesn't mean they are the ones I prefer to
socialize with, necessarily. It only means that they are more socially
successful in wider circles than others.)
How much of the myth of the {dumb blond/blond have more fun/mousy spinster/
fiery redhead/and so on} are being perpetuated to the detriment of the
individuals involved? Am I just naive, and is this something that most
everybody has realized for years?
For the answers to this and other questions...(Does Naomi have black hair?)
tune into net.women sometime within the next few.
Shava Nerad
Telematic Systems (@DEC Ed. Svcs.)
{decvax, allegra}!decwrl!rhea!closus!nerad