welsch@houxu.UUCP (Larry Welsch) (09/08/84)
. Ramblings on Language, Intimacy, and Equality The other day I was in a discussion at work that was getting rather tense and we were using phrases like "pissing contest," "what the fuck," "ass hole," etc. The topic of the discussion is irrelevant. One of the members of the group pointed out that our language had gotten rather earthy and we were lucky none of the women in the department were present because they might be offended. At the time I agreed, but then I started to think about the whole issue of language usage and equality. It then occurred to me that the phrases are only offensive when used in mixed company where the people are not intimate with each other. The reason is due to hangups about bodily functions and the implied sexuality of such functions. (Frankly I never found urination sexy, but that feeling of relief can be enjoyable.) These hangups translate directly into our society's hangups about sex, ie. anything other than done once a "year" in the missionary position with a member of the opposite sex is bad. What I then noticed is that some of the things that really make us feel good, like copulation or defecation, we just do not talk about in polite company. They are forbidden subjects, particularly with members of the opposite sex. Of course if one is intimate then the topic is no longer forbidden. You may ask, how does this translate into the work place. The answer is simple. Males can develop better working relationships with males than with females, because there are more avenues of communication between members of the same sex than members of the opposite sex, short of becoming intimate. To give a simple example. Two males standing at a urinal can share the feeling of relief a good piss gives without it having any implications of sex. And indeed I have shared this feeling with many men. Just sharing such a simple act and feeling is something I can never do with my female colleagues. The same I find is true about sitting naked in a whirl pool in the YMCA or even just changing clothes, getting ready for exercise or returning from exercise. Now, equality will not be achieved until something is done. What? Well lets start by getting rid of our hangups about talking about bodily functions in mixed company. After all members of the opposite sex, piss, shit, and fuck. Then, lets get rid of our hangups about sex. Coed bathrooms or locker rooms isn't going to lead to mass orgys. Sex feels good and we should be able to to enjoy it and talk about it, just as we enjoy running, swimming or reading a good novel. Picking ones sexual partners should be no more complicated than choosing who to associate with. I am convinced until we do this that we won't be able to have "equality between the sexes." All we will have is separate, but equal, which is not equal. Larry Welsch houxu!welsch
hawk@oliven.UUCP (09/11/84)
>What I then noticed is that some of the things that really make us feel >good, like copulation or defecation, we just do not talk about in polite >company. I never noticed. Now I'm so happy I could just s***. :-) -- rick (Rick Hawkins @ Olivetti ATC) [hplabs|zehntel|fortune|ios|tolerant|allegra|tymix]!oliveb!oliven!hawk