dls@hocse.UUCP (10/10/84)
Ken: You have really jumped on me here, and I think it is undeserved. But I must admit I asked for it by not following the previous discussion closely enough and not clearly stating what I was talking about. | |>> But for every case where the guy actually rapes someone |>> in a situation like this, there are probably 100s where |>> he meekly backs off and respects her wishes. | |Say what? I was just accusing the nerd who went to great lengths |to concoct an "Is it rape or isn't it?" scenario of closet misogyny. |The misogyny above is a lot more blatant. What's this "meekly |backs off" crap? If these guys were "real men" what would they do? | You have seriously misunderstood me. I am not talking about the New Bedford incident. If I had been on the jury(based on my current knowledge of the incident)I would certainly have voted "guilty." I am also not referring to the sort of artifical situation described by the "nerd" where he is stopped in mid-act. This subject has been done to death. I have erred in not stating precisely what I was talking about. If a man and a women are engaged in some kind of sexual activity, she says "stop," and he continues by force, I agree, 100%, it is rape. Further, I agree that once he has done this, his major remaining right is that one phone call. I am merely asserting that a man has a right to be annoyed in a situation where he has been led to believe he is going to have sex by unambiguous actions and statements(e.g. she is taking off her cloths), and then is rejected at some later point. |>> Most men, I expect, would prefer a more open and honest |>> relationship that did not include either threats/blackmail from men |>> or women being coy/teasing. It is just plain wrong for |>> women to toy with men sexually. | |And vice versa. No, wait! What does "wrong" mean? It's a crime? |It deserves punishment, as in "she was asking for it"? That's sick. | As you point out - and vice versa. I am being chauvanistic in assuming that only women tease and only men threaten. As for what "wrong" means: try on "hurtful," "unethical," "cruel," etc. But no hurt of this sort justifies any kind of attack or threat. This kind of behavior is not a crime, and even if it were, the law punishes, not the citizen. You have jumped to the conclusion that I am "sick" on a string of flimsy assumptions. Your response is at odds with the tone of the paragraph, in which I plead for "open and honest" relationships that "do NOT include ... threats." |>> Let's stop arguing about all this nitpicking stuff(is it rape?, |>> is she a slut?, etc) and get on to some higher level discussions. | |Good idea. In fact, that was the whole point of my original article. | At least we both agree on something. I would like to also add that insulting words such as "nerd" should not be applied to individuals even if you feel that they are accurate. All responses should attack the posting, not the person.