raz@homxa.UUCP (C.RANDAZZO) (09/28/84)
I rarely submit articles to the net but after today's display of total crassness on the job I needed someone (or something) to scream at. I had the unfortunate luck of getting on an elevator with an extremely obnoxious gentleman (and I use the term gentleman loosely, very loosley). As the doors of the elevator were closing, the gentleman said to me, "My, it isn't everyday that I get to ride an elevator with such a tasty morsel." At first, I just looked at him with what I hoped was total disgust, but to my added horror he just went right on speaking as if he expected the look. He said, "Too bad I'm riding the elevator and not a tasty morsel, huh?" Well, now I'm steaming and I turned to him and said, "You couldn't ride a horse without breaking it's back." He just laughed, got off at his floor and that was the last I saw him. After he left I thought well maybe I asked for that attitude from him in some way. Then I said to myself, stop looking for an excuse, he had no right and it was totally unncalled for. When are some people going to learn that their taste in elevator conversation is geared more to the barroom. Did I do the right thing or should I have just ignored him? Thanks for listening, (reading). Cathy
ecl@hocsj.UUCP (09/29/84)
REFERENCE: <411@homxa.UUCP> Your machine name indicates you work for some part of AT&T (or possibly Bellcore). So you should have gotten this turkey's name off his badge--at last those badges come in handy!--and reported him to whoever is in charge of curtailing sexual harrassment in the workplace (probably the AA counselor). If he was a visitor to the company there probably wasn't much you could do. (My experience with crassness was from a visitor who called me "honey"; all I could do was tell him that I wasn't "his honey" and slam the door in his face--not very satisfactory but what can you do?) Evelyn C. Leeper ...ihnp4!hocsj!ecl
nowlin@ihu1e.UUCP (Jerry Nowlin) (10/01/84)
> I had the unfortunate luck of getting on an elevator with an extremely > obnoxious gentleman (and I use the term gentleman loosely, very loosley). > As the doors of the elevator were closing, the gentleman said to me, > "My, it isn't everyday that I get to ride an elevator with such a > tasty morsel." At first, I just looked at him with what I hoped > was total disgust, but to my added horror he just went right on > speaking as if he expected the look. He said, "Too bad > I'm riding the elevator and not a tasty morsel, huh?" Well, now I'm > steaming and I turned to him and said, "You couldn't ride a horse without > breaking it's back." He just laughed, got off at his floor and that was > the last I saw him. After he left I thought well maybe I asked for that > attitude from him in some way. Then I said to myself, stop looking > for an excuse, he had no right and it was totally unncalled for. When > are some people going to learn that their taste in elevator > conversation is geared more to the barroom. > Did I do the right thing or should I have just ignored him? That is blatant sexual harassment and if he talks that way in an elevator to a total stranger he'll take even worse liberties with people he works with or over. You should have ask him for his name and then reported him to your supervisor. It's not to late to take that kind of action now and I'd recommend it. As an alternative you could have kicked the bastard in the nuts. Excuse me if that kind of language offends you. Individual men that go out of their way to make all men look bad really burn my butt. Jerry Nowlin ihnp4!ihu1e!nowlin
scw@cepu.UUCP (10/02/84)
In article <411@homxa.UUCP> raz@homxa.UUCP (C.RANDAZZO) writes: >[...] >I had the unfortunate luck[...] Then I said to myself, stop looking >for an excuse, he had no right and it was totally unncalled for. When >are some people going to learn that their taste in elevator >conversation is geared more to the barroom. > >Did I do the right thing or should I have just ignored him? >[...] > >Cathy You're right, it was totally uncalled for and he had no right! You did exactly the right thing, although I think that you may have been a little too easy on him. -- Stephen C. Woods (VA Wadsworth Med Ctr./UCLA Dept. of Neurology) uucp: { {ihnp4, uiucdcs}!bradley, hao, trwrb, sdcrdcf}!cepu!scw ARPA: cepu!scw@ucla-cs location: N 34 3' 9.1" W 118 27' 4.3"
edhall@randvax.UUCP (Ed Hall) (10/03/84)
The man in the elevator got just what he was looking for: a reaction to his verbal assault. The best thing may well have been to treat him as if he didn't exist, or as if he hadn't said anything. And it would be damn tough to do this; I doubt if I could hide my disgust and anger. But I've known (though not for long) men who make these sorts of verbal assaults, and I know what they're thinking: ``look at how I can make this woman squirm, and she can't do a thing about it!'' It's sexual violence, pure and simple. The sorts of reactions that might humiliate him if he were in a group of men won't work--you can't humiliate him when he's already proven that he has no respect for anyone else present. By the way, not only is verbal sexual assault against the rules at many employers, it is against the law in several states (albeit for rather paternalistic motivations). I kinda doubt such laws are enforced much (except when someone propositions the sheriff's wife :-) ). -Ed Hall decvax!randvax!edhall
dbb@opus.UUCP (David B. Bordeau) (10/15/84)
> The man in the elevator got just what he was looking for: a reaction > to his verbal assault. The best thing may well have been to treat > him as if he didn't exist, or as if he hadn't said anything. > > And it would be damn tough to do this; I doubt if I could hide my > disgust and anger. But I've known (though not for long) men who make > these sorts of verbal assaults, and I know what they're thinking: > ``look at how I can make this woman squirm, and she can't do a thing > about it!'' It's sexual violence, pure and simple. The sorts of > reactions that might humiliate him if he were in a group of men won't > work--you can't humiliate him when he's already proven that he has no > respect for anyone else present. > > By the way, not only is verbal sexual assault against the rules at many > employers, it is against the law in several states (albeit for rather > paternalistic motivations). I kinda doubt such laws are enforced much > (except when someone propositions the sheriff's wife :-) ). > > -Ed Hall > decvax!randvax!edhall *** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE ***