[net.women] Fear

tron@fluke.UUCP (Peter Barbee) (01/18/85)

We've been discussing how it is that women tend to feel uneasy (or even
threatened) by the presence of male(s) on an otherwise deserted street.
And in general how women are vulnerable in many public situations.  We
have decided that this is undesirable and some feel it is an example of
sexism.  (I think it is a combination of that and also that women tend to
be less imposing physically, thus easier to pick on)

As a result of this discussion I have felt a lot of empathy for my friends
who (it seems) regularly feel threatened and have also been sad that I am
myself a source of that threat.  All in all a source of melancholy.

But last night I was leaving a store (after dark) and as I approached my
car there were two men loitering near it.  I felt immediate apprehension.  My
first thought was "if those men approach I will toss my car keys on the
roof of the building so they can only attack me and not my car or house".
I realize that my definition of loitering was subjective as was any fear I felt.
My fear was not acute and I was quickly able to justify it away (I also
quickly got in my car and drove off).  The point is that I felt fear and
vulnerability in a very common situation.  Suddenly I realized that women
are not alone in those feelings.

In saying this I am not dismissing the fears etc. that women feel, and
obviously I still don't worry about rape (although when discussing this
situation and discussion with my roommates Katherine mentioned that there
appears to be a gang of men in Seattle who are raping other men).  I do
think that I am a confident person and rarely cringe when walking the streets.
It's interesting to me that all of us can be intimidated.

To a better world,

Peter Barbee 

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