jpexg@mit-hermes.ARPA (John Purbrick) (01/18/85)
[For those joining us at this point--there was a series of postings a couple of months ago about how in India a husband's family expects a large dowry from the wife's family, non-payment of which may cause the husband's family to burn the woman to death.] I had an Indian friend when I was a student, who has since returned to India and married. His wife is also American-educated, so they understand each other's bi-cultural outlook. My friend was in town last week and we went out for drinks one evening. Getting in a dig at him (not expecting that a forward- looking Indian would ask for a dowry, of course) I said, "So, how much dowry did you get with your wife? Did they pay plenty to get rid of her?" And he said "No, nothing; _she's_ the dowry!" Now that's the right way to think about it.
jcp@brl-tgr.ARPA (Joe Pistritto <jcp>) (01/18/85)
In article <2283@mit-hermes.ARPA> jpexg@mit-hermes.ARPA (John Purbrick) writes: >I had an Indian friend when I was a student, who has since returned to India >and married. His wife is also American-educated, so they understand each >other's bi-cultural outlook. My friend was in town last week and we went out >for drinks one evening. Getting in a dig at him (not expecting that a forward- >looking Indian would ask for a dowry, of course) I said, > "So, how much dowry did you get with your wife? Did they pay plenty >to get rid of her?" > And he said "No, nothing; _she's_ the dowry!" > >Now that's the right way to think about it. A more common attitude in India today than you might think. I am currently negotiating with an Indian family to marry their daughter, they asked if I wanted a dowry, to which I replied no (although it was an interesting idea). Incidentally I'm not Indian. Actually, the family was pleasantly surprised, (since they knew that I knew I could ask for one, and apparently expected me to.) -JCP=