ag5@pucc-k (Henry Mensch) (01/20/85)
<<Quotes from the Ann Landers item with survey results follow my text.>> Another example of the lunatic fringe sounding legitimate. Just some points to ponder: -) just who actually reads Ann Landers and takes whatever she has to say seriously? It does seem that she is simiply a low-level Dr. Joyce Brothers... BTW, Dr. Brothers isn't exactly held in the highest esteem by her fellow psychologists... -) All the negative items cited by Ms. Landers in her column indicate either problems in the relationship or physical problems ... -) The women quoted don't even sound like they have tried to make it better ... "He never bothered to satisfy me when he had his health...", "I am sure the sex act was designed strictly for the pleasure of males...". -) what do we know about the women who actually voted? I have made comments after some citations (taken from the votes) made by Ms. Landers (cited text is preced with '>'): >A 32 year old from Atlanta put it this way: "He insists on getting his >satisfaction, so why shouldn't I have mine?" There *is* no reason why you shouldn't have yours ... but you might have to tell him how to please you; the basic sex act is instinctual, while the pleasurable part is not. Your man won't know what works for you unless you let him know. If he resists, then he seems to be too selfish for consideration. After all, I'm sure that he let's you know what you should be doing.... >Columbus, Ohio: "I am under 40 and would be delighted to settle for tender >words and warm caresses. The rest of it is a bore and can be exhausting. >I am sure the sex act was designed strictly for the pleasure of males." I expect that this woman has never experienced an orgasm. Her last comment seems to indicate this (either that, or she does not find orgasms pleasurable: "My hair gets all messed up!" ;->) >Anchorage, Alaska: "I am under 40 (26 to be exact). I want three children, >so obviously I need more than conversation. After I have my family I would >happily settle for separate rooms. Sex doesn't do a thing for me." >Westport, Conn.: "I vote YES. My husband is a diabetic and hasn't been able >to perform for 10 years. I would have voted YES 20 years ago. He never >bothered to satisfy me when he had his health. His illness was a blessing." >Kansas City: "I'm 55 and vote YES. The best part is the cuddling and >caressing and the tender words that come with caring. My first husband >used to rape me about five times a week. If a stranger had treated me >like that, I would have had him arrested." I see. And because he was your spouse this became a legitimate thing to happen? I don't think so.... >Chicago: "I don't want either his tender words or the act. My husband >became impotent from alcoholism 10 years ago. The only word I'd like from >him is 'goodbye', but the bum won't leave." Take the initiative, dear ... (If the city on this item were "New York," I would think that this were my step-mom). Toss him out on his ear! >Helena, Mont.: "NO. I am 32. To say that touching and tender words >are sufficient is like settling for the smell of fresh baked bread and >ignoring the nourishment it provides. Such people must be crazy." Okeydokey. But, this seems to imply that sex is absolutely *necessary*. It isn't, but it sure *can be* good when it happens. >Texarkana: "YES. Without the tender embrace, the act is animalistic. >For years I hated sex and felt used. I was relieved when my husband died. >My present mate is on heart pills that have made him impotent. It's like >heaven to be held and cuddled." This seems to be the only one of Ms. Landers' citations which doesn't seem to be too overly-troubled. I am sure that if this woman's present mate weren't impotent, she would be showing him what works and what doesn't. >Washington, D.C.: "YES, yes, a million times yes! I would love to be >spoken to tenderly. It would be enough. My boyfriend never says a word. >If I say anything he says, 'Be quiet. You're spoiling things.'" "No, you listen ... YOU'RE spoiling things for me!" >Eureka, Calif.: "I'm 62 and voting NO. If my old man was over the hill, >I would settle for high-school necking, but as long as he's able to shake >the walls and wake up the neighbors downstairs, I want to get in on the >action. And I'll take an encore anytime I can get it." Yeah! This one reminds me of my grandma, who just turned 70 last week ... She's going on a cruise in March with a gentleman she met at a country club in New York (grandpa died in 1981). Advanced age doesn't necessarily rule out relationships or sexual activity. RECOMMENDED READING: *How to raise a child conservatively in a sexually-permissive world* by Gordon and Gordon. Although this book is intended to inform parents about sexual education for their child, the things that Dr and Mrs Gordon state in this book are indeed educational for the parents... Flames or whatever to my mailbox, please... I love mail! -- ------------------------------------------------------------------- Henry C. Mensch | User Confuser | Purdue University User Services {ihnp4|decvax|ucbvax|purdue|uiucdcs|cbosgd|harpo}!pur-ee!pucc-i!ag5 ------------------------------------------------------------------- "...Always reach for a Hamilton Beach.. It slices, it dices, and it disciplines the children."