slb@drutx.UUCP (Sue Brezden) (06/05/85)
The question "Would you rather be raped or killed?" is being discussed, and I would like to share some of my experiences. Ordinarily, it is not a subject I talk about. Especially in a public forum. But perhaps I have something to add. I have been raped. I have also come very close to being killed (by stangulation--a wire coat hanger). At separate times. By the same man--my ex-husband. I am still alive. And I am glad that I was not murdered. I have had time to regain my self-respect. To learn to enjoy myself, to see my children grow and to find a good man who loves me for me and not for what I can do for him. If I was killed back then, I would not have had these experiences. Now perhaps rape is easier to take if it is done by a man close to you rather than a stranger. But I tend to think not. I lived with that man for 5 more years after those incidents took place. He never understood why I would flinch when he touched me, or why I was always so unsure of myself. He still does not understand, I am sure, although I would never talk to him about it. I am sure he feels in his own mind that he is innocent. Somehow that made it harder to recover--since the closest person to me reinforced the feeling that I was wrong to feel the way I did. I only started to recover after I left him. At any rate, I do know now that recovery is always possible--if one lives. It is not possible if one dies. If faced with rape, torture, or murder, I pick anything but murder. -- Sue Brezden Real World: Room 1B17 Net World: ihnp4!drutx!slb AT&T Information Systems 11900 North Pecos Westminster, Co. 80234 (303)538-3829 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Send lawyers, guns, and money, Dad. Please get me out of this! -Warren Zevon ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~