fox@ozone.DEC (06/04/85)
SUMMARY: For more than a month now, there's been a heated discussion on net.women about the nature and causes of rape. Recently, the "Rape is violence" statement has come into question, with at least one netter expressing the feeling that rape isn't just violence. I agree. RAPE: WHAT IT IS Rape is running, incoherently screaming out of your fifth floor apartment after a manhas broken in, raped your, and gone. And having all the men say -"what is she, crazy?". While every woman on the floor dials 911 and asks for the Rape Squad. Rape is being treated with sensitivity by the police on the night of the attack. And getting a phone call one month later from one of them: "we've caught your rapist", in the same tones that he might announce, "we've found your pet poodle". Rape is never relating the details of the rape to anyone, because of the perverse one-downs-woman-ship you have been socialized to all your life. After all, you managed to get away before he got it in. Or you _were_ raped, but not beaten. Or you were beaten, but you healed quickly. Or you needed three plastic surgery operations to put your face back together, but at least you weren't killed. Rape is never talking about it again, after the first time you try, to even your closest, most feminist male friend. For fear you'll glance down and see the bulge in his pants, too. Rape is rising from your lover's embrace 6 or 8 or 12 years later with an urgent need to take a scalding shower. And realizing only two months after you've broken up that your lover had touched - or said something - in the same way _he_ had. Rape is reading an "explanation" on the net "...after all, women can arouse strong emotions, and some young men can't handle it..." And remembering your terror when a man you'd never seen before in your life pulls his erect penis out of his pants and says "look what you did to me, baby, now you're gonna do something about it." Rape is putting your emotions, feelings, and life back together again; being cautious but not afraid, going where you want to go, having rewarding relationships, even good sex. And, after more than a decade, getting so shaken up by the shit coming over this net that finally, you can't do _anything_else_ until you sit down and write this. Rape is knowing that posting this to the net will only be a temporary catharthis. And that some smartass will send an obscene flame. Rape is something that recedes in time, memory and consciousness. But it doesn't go away. Not ever. Arlyn Fox ...decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-ozone!fox
sed408@ihlpg.UUCP (s. dugan) (06/11/85)
> > > > SUMMARY: For more than a month now, there's been a heated > discussion on net.women about the nature and causes of rape. > Recently, the "Rape is violence" statement has come into > question, with at least one netter expressing the feeling that > rape isn't just violence. I agree. > > > RAPE: WHAT IT IS > > Rape is running, incoherently screaming out of your fifth floor > apartment after a manhas broken in, raped your, and gone. And having > all the men say -"what is she, crazy?". While every woman on the floor > dials 911 and asks for the Rape Squad. > > Rape is being treated with sensitivity by the police on the night > of the attack. And getting a phone call one month later from one > of them: "we've caught your rapist", in the same tones that he > might announce, "we've found your pet poodle". > > Rape is never relating the details of the rape to anyone, because > of the perverse one-downs-woman-ship you have been socialized to > all your life. After all, you managed to get away before he got > it in. Or you _were_ raped, but not beaten. Or you were beaten, > but you healed quickly. Or you needed three plastic surgery > operations to put your face back together, but at least you > weren't killed. > > Rape is never talking about it again, after the first time you > try, to even your closest, most feminist male friend. For fear > you'll glance down and see the bulge in his pants, too. > > Rape is rising from your lover's embrace 6 or 8 or 12 years later > with an urgent need to take a scalding shower. And realizing > only two months after you've broken up that your lover had > touched - or said something - in the same way _he_ had. > > Rape is reading an "explanation" on the net "...after all, women > can arouse strong emotions, and some young men can't handle > it..." And remembering your terror when a man you'd never seen > before in your life pulls his erect penis out of his pants and > says "look what you did to me, baby, now you're gonna do > something about it." > > Rape is putting your emotions, feelings, and life back together > again; being cautious but not afraid, going where you want to go, > having rewarding relationships, even good sex. And, after more > than a decade, getting so shaken up by the shit coming over this > net that finally, you can't do _anything_else_ until you sit down > and write this. > > Rape is knowing that posting this to the net will only be a > temporary catharthis. And that some smartass will send an > obscene flame. > > Rape is something that recedes in time, memory and consciousness. > But it doesn't go away. > > Not ever. > > > > Arlyn Fox > > ...decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-ozone!fox Beautiful article, Arlyn. I couldn't have said it better myself. -- Sarah E. Dugan (a friend of Dr. Bob and Bill W.) "One Day At A Time"