[net.women] Why we are so cruel

pauls@tekecs.UUCP (Paul Sweazey) (06/02/85)

There are many thousands of subscribers to net.women, yet almost all the
postings are submitted by a couple dozen people.  Why?  Because it is so
dangerous!  People who in person-to-person encounters would never directly
challenge, contradict, or insult, forget all the impathy and compassion
that distinguish adults from children.

It is very tempting to use examples from current net.women postings.  Some
examples are in this file right now but I will edit them away before I
send this.  Rather, let me suggest all the ways that others may choose
to tear apart the first paragraph of this article:

	You misspelled empathy.

	Interesting point.  Why, though, are you picking on net.women?
	It is no different than any other news group.

	Where did you get your statistics?  Before you start making up
	numbers of subscribers and submitters, do some research.

	Oh come on, the reason people don't post to the net is
	because they are too lazy, or uninterested, or the topics
	are uninteresting.  This net isn't worth the computer-time
	it is run on.

	Qualities that "distinguish adults from children"?  Looks like
	stereotyped age discrimination to me.

	It takes a true hypocrite to attack the entire net with a lecture
	on compassion and empathy.  You are more guilty than we are
	because you can't see that your own posting is a prime example
	of the kind of behavior you are so self-righteously attacking.

	What kind of two-faced liar are you?  I would never fake it,
	pretending to agree with someone when I don't.  I don't have
	to be dishonest to be tactful.  Why do you?

Most of these responses have real points to make.  However, the reason
people need to say them is often not because the original message was
wrong, but because written and spoken language is inherently imprecise.
Without the rich context of acquaintance, vocal intonation, facial
expressions, and body language, the same words that are so understandable
in person are destined to be misunderstood.  For the same reasons the
responses seem more polarized and biting than they are intended.  The
sideways-smiley-face :-) just can't replace a real smiling face.  Soon,
usually by the second RE:, nobody is smiling.  All involved have taken
offense and they *HAVE TO* defend themselves.

I suspect that the network is an amplification or caricature of person-
to-person social interactions, and that the person that manages to
participate on the net without eliciting ire has no problems with other
forms of human intercourse.  As for the rest of us... you always hurt
the one you love... and certainly the one you have never met.

zubbie@ihlpa.UUCP (Jeanette Zobjeck) (06/11/85)

> I suspect that the network is an amplification or caricature of person-
> to-person social interactions, and that the person that manages to
> participate on the net without eliciting ire has no problems with other
> forms of human intercourse.  As for the rest of us... you always hurt
> the one you love... and certainly the one you have never met.

*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE ***

Using the net.* to communicate is somewhat like learning to speak or
communicate when very young.

A lot of what gets said makes perfect sense to the person posting it because
they read it with all the inflections etc. built inside their heads.

Talk about practically anything with a 6 or 7 year old for awhile.
You would be amazed at how similar it is to communicating via computer net.

The imagined insults, slights and attacks occur just as frequently as does
the inability to convey even the most rudimentary of ideas.

jeanette l. zobjeck
ihnp4!ihlpa!zubbie