[net.women] Arranged Marriages

colonel@gloria.UUCP (Col. G. L. Sicherman) (06/08/85)

> Most of my friends in the U.S. (the married ones, that is) did not have
> "arranged" marriages. That makes me feel good; I know I have friends who are
> truly educated. And you can bet your diamond wedding ring that when I marry,
> it won't be an "arranged" marriage.
> ---  Debashish Niyogi

Unless it's your bride who arranges it  :-)
-- 
Col. G. L. Sicherman
...{rocksvax|decvax}!sunybcs!colonel

sunil@ut-ngp.UUCP (Sunil Trivedi) (06/08/85)

>
> From: suchi@utastro.UUCP (Suchitra Balachandran) Fri Jun  7 11:59:47 1985
> To: sunil@ut-ngp.ARPA  {...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!sunil}
>
>                     About your arranged marriage question:   
>
> I agree with the one reply I saw posted on the net.  It really is a question
> of your cultural upbringing.  The norm in India is an arranged marriage and
> that is what one does when one thinks of getting married.  The basic problem
> even if you want to do otherwise is the inability of meeting a sufficient 
> number of people to choose a partner.  The pattern is changing though slowly.
> I am not surprised that Indian guys here are returning home to find wives.
> How many single Indian girls do you know in the US?  If it does, 'unarranged'
> marriages are more likely to catch on in India and among single Indian girls
> here.
>
>                                              Suchitra
>

	This mail to me was posted as it seemed appropriate to the current
	topic.  Replies to the above message can be sent to:
			suchi@utastro.ARPA  {...!ut-sally!utastro!suchi}


						Sunil Trivedi

sunil@ut-ngp.UUCP (Sunil Trivedi) (06/08/85)

>
> From: S.Ganapathy <ganpaty> Sat Jun  8 00:34:29 1985
> To: sunil@ut-ngp.ARPA	{...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!sunil}
> Subject: your letter to net.nlang.india & net.women about getting a wife.
> Status: R
>
> Dear Sunil,
>     This is my response to your letter regarding getting a wife. To me the    
> the wording does not sound good. Looks like one is shopping around for a com-
> modity such as a car or any other thing you can think of. The reason why ar-
> ranged marriages are still in vogue is that the chances of their working or not
> is the same as that of love marriages.Remember just by being in love may be
> a necessary but may not be a sufficient condition for the man and woman to
> know each other fully well. Do not forget that the arranged marriages are not 
> forced upon the man or woman by their families as one might incline to think.
> I agree that in arranged marriages there is insufficient opportunity for the 
> man and woman to know and objectively assess each others compatability or 
> otherwise.  May be in a love marriage such oppurtunities abound but once again
> that does not guarantee the success of love marriages too.  
> Have you heard the saying that love is blind/blinding ?  I am not trying to
> defend arranged marriages.  The most important thing that makes a marriage is
> the attitude of the couple.  Arguements such as: Oh! Have I made a mistake?,
> I deserve better than this,  may be I can give it another try? There definite-
> ly must be a better match and so on and so forth are guarantees to dig the
> grave of matrimony.   Well Sunil these are some thoughts that your letter
> provoked in me.  If you want you are free to put them on net.
> Well I don't intend to bore you any more. Would be interested in your response
> to my thinking.
>                                                        Take care. 
>                                                        Gany.
>

	This mail was posted as it also discusses the current topic.  Any
	replies to this article should be sent to:
		ganpaty@ut-ngp.ARPA	{...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!ganpaty}


							Sunil Trivedi

muppala@sunybcs.UUCP (Shankar Muppala) (06/11/85)

> >
> > From: S.Ganapathy <ganpaty> Sat Jun  8 00:34:29 1985
> > To: sunil@ut-ngp.ARPA	{...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!sunil}
> > Subject: your letter to net.nlang.india & net.women about getting a wife.
> > Status: R
> >
> > Dear Sunil,
> >     This is my response to your letter regarding getting a wife. To me the    
> > the wording does not sound good. Looks like one is shopping around for a com-
> > modity such as a car or any other thing you can think of. The reason why ar-
> > ranged marriages are still in vogue is that the chances of their working or not
> > is the same as that of love marriages.Remember just by being in love may be
> > a necessary but may not be a sufficient condition for the man and woman to
> > know each other fully well. Do not forget that the arranged marriages are not 
> > forced upon the man or woman by their families as one might incline to think.
> > I agree that in arranged marriages there is insufficient opportunity for the 
> > man and woman to know and objectively assess each others compatability or 
> > otherwise.  May be in a love marriage such oppurtunities abound but once again
> > that does not guarantee the success of love marriages too.  
> > Have you heard the saying that love is blind/blinding ?  I am not trying to
> > defend arranged marriages.  The most important thing that makes a marriage is
> > the attitude of the couple.  Arguements such as: Oh! Have I made a mistake?,
> > I deserve better than this,  may be I can give it another try? There definite-
> > ly must be a better match and so on and so forth are guarantees to dig the
> > grave of matrimony.   Well Sunil these are some thoughts that your letter
> > provoked in me.  If you want you are free to put them on net.
> > Well I don't intend to bore you any more. Would be interested in your response
> > to my thinking.
> >                                                        Take care. 
> >                                                        Gany.
> >
> 
> 	This mail was posted as it also discusses the current topic.  Any
> 	replies to this article should be sent to:
> 		ganpaty@ut-ngp.ARPA	{...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!ganpaty}
> 
> 
> 							Sunil Trivedi

*Iagree with this letter and also the other letters in reply to
arranged marriages. I feel that the original letter was posted in
the most irresponsible manner as could be done. Mr. 'original' did
not think of a lot of problems before posting that letter. One of the
biggest problems is getting your sisters married in a closed Knit co-
mmunity like India. You got to think about that also. 


						Thanks
						Shankar
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