sunil@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Sunil Trivedi) (06/16/85)
From: muppala@sunybcs.UUCP (Shankar Muppala) > I feel that the original letter was posted in > the most irresponsible manner as could be done. Mr. 'original' did > not think of a lot of problems before posting that letter. As many have pointed out I did not neccessarily choose the most eloquent wording for the original posting. I apologize to anyone who may have been offended. The purpose of the original posting was just to generate discussion, not to offend any one. I would also like to define the different paths for love marriages so that future debate/discussion will not confine the scope of love marriages. 1) Marriage to an Indian who has also come abroad to study 2) Marriage to an Indian American [Indo-American] (one who was brought up here) 3) Marriage to an American (exclusive of #2 above) 4) Returning to India and having a love marriage Previous discussions have made references to Type 3 (from above) love marriages and a bit on Type 1. I think the most important of these is Type 4. Sunil Trivedi sunil@ut-ngp.ARPA ...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!sunil "Beam me up fast Scotty - there's no toilet paper down here!" {No reference to 'discussion' on net.women/net.flame}
sunil@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Sunil Trivedi) (06/16/85)
From: muppala@sunybcs.UUCP (Shankar Muppala) > *Iagree with this letter and also the other letters in reply to > arranged marriages. ... One of the > biggest problems is getting your sisters married in a closed Knit co- > mmunity like India. You got to think about that also. In all the responses for this discussion, I have yet to read anything about the differences in how the Arranged Marriage System treats the male and the female participants. The system seems to be heavily weighted in favor of the males (sons) as are most things. A son brings a wife into the family while the daughter 'leaves' to join her husband's family. The girl's family may for a long time try to 'unload' her to just about anyone. The tradition of subservience would more likely lead the girls to accept the 'match' over the son who may feel that he could get better. Once all the girls are married, the family takes a sigh of relief as one of the 'burdens' are lifted. If a son isn't married the concern is minimal after all the son can get married at any age [due to fertility] and there will always be girls whose parents are desperately trying to get their daughters married off. Consider the case of the women who are 'over-qualified' for marriage. Have you heard of a man being 'over-qualified' for marriage? From: dss00@amdahl.UUCP > From sunil@ut-ngp.UUCP > > Has anyone ever wondered why "arranged" marriages > > are so popular with the 'educated' ... ? > Stop wondering. Try it. You just may like it; I should know....... I went to India to try it and after finding that the cards were heavily stacked in favor of me, I decided I would not support such a system. At this moment I'm soon to be 'hitched' to an American so it looks as though I'll never get to try it! {Sure that's what they all say!} Sunil Trivedi sunil@ut-ngp.ARPA ...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!sunil