jdh@mtung.UUCP (Julia Harper) (07/02/85)
<> >Well, I think that *my* wife has gotten a LOT of economic benefits from >our marriage. When we married, we both worked full time, at >professional-level Army jobs. Her marriage has allowed her to still live >comfortably, while at the same time: > >a) Quitting her government job. >b) Withdrawing her accumulated retirement benefits, and using that plus >even a larger amount from my savings to open and furnish a retail >business, which lasted less than a year, but which satisfied a long-held >desire she had. This makes it sound like she was playing!!!! It also doesn't sound too satisfying - having a business collapse after a year, that is. >c) Living for at least a year without holding any job at all. >d) Choosing to then work as a temporary, so she can work or not as she >wishes. This really sounds bad to me, actually. It sounds like she tried starting her own business, failed, and then decided she was a failure. Has she really not worked fulltime in a fulfilling job since then? It would be much healthier for her (I suspect) to prove that she is not a failure, rather than now relegating herself to the role of a temporary worker with no goals. If she could not count on your income to support her, she probably would have found herself a job and at least discovered that she can in fact take care of herself. I know how much my job means to me. Nothing has had as great an influence on my self confidence as my job. It is likely nothing can be as hard to take as *feeling* like a failure at a job, even if it's in the tough world of personal business. If I were you, I would urge her to get off her butt and prove to herself and you that she is a useful and important member of your husband/wife team. -- Julia Harper [ihnp4,ariel]!mtung!jdh