regard@ttidcc.UUCP (Adrienne Regard) (07/01/85)
>Does this mean you're willing to marry a man who makes less money than you? >That you're willing to "marry below your class"? I would suspect many women >are not. I'd be happy to hear if I'm wrong. > Phil Ngai +1 408 749 5720 O.K., Phil, I'll take you up on that. You're wrong. I refuse to marry a man who makes less money that I, and who is "below my class" whatever that means, but that is only because I refuse to marry. However, the man with whom I bought a home, and who is the father of my children does in fact make less money than I do, and I can't say it makes a hell of a lot of difference to us. This subject was touched upon in a recent talk show that he and I were discussing recently, though, where "career women" in their late thirties were concerned about their biological clock, and finding a man to have kids with, etc., etc., and one of the factors that plays a part is that educated women (like many educated men now, reference net.singles) would not "love" a man who was less educated/intelligent than they, which in our society usually means makes more money. These women have spent 20 years bucking the system, and discover it is difficult to respect a man who hasn't clawed his way up there, too. Misguided? Probably, but operative. They also deal with the double bind where, if they become attached to a lower-paid male, their co-workers (of both sexes) and friends subtly ridicule them for taking on a "basket case". Men don't find themselves ridiculed (to the extent. I think this is changing somewhat) for marrying a "featherbrain" or even a perfectly sane woman who doesn't make as much money. Yeh, so flame me for oversimplification -- I'm just bringing up another topic, o.k.? It takes some determination to face up to social prejudice when persons-whose-business-it-is-not venture opinions on anyone's choice in a mate. I've been there and generally said "phooey", but I've been through a lot worse than many people and thus have a thicker skin. I doubt this is an easy thing for people who are still sensitive. Adrienne Regard
regard@ttidcc.UUCP (Adrienne Regard) (07/01/85)
Oh, yeah, P.S. He's had to face up to a bunch of social prejudice as well re the fact that I make more than he does. It's been no easier for him, even though he is (via the implications of this dicussion) on the "receiving end". Regardless of who benefits, it "just isn't done". (phooey sez me) Adrienne Regard
sophie@mnetor.UUCP (Sophie Quigley) (07/11/85)
>Does this mean you're willing to marry a man who makes less money than you? >That you're willing to "marry below your class"? I would suspect many women >are not. I'd be happy to hear if I'm wrong. > Phil Ngai +1 408 749 5720 You're wrong about the money. I am not sure what "beyond my class" would mean. I would have a hard time being being with a man with whom I am not compatible on an intellectual level as well as on other delicious levels. I don't care about the money a long as there is enough for everybody and nobody feels "taken in". -- Sophie Quigley {allegra|decvax|ihnp4|linus|watmath}!utzoo!mnetor!sophie