[net.women] WHO'S watching the kids

lonetto@phri.UUCP (Michael Lonetto) (07/19/85)

The  following  was written as a mail response to Marsha at UCSD.  Since
Jeanette has brought up some of the same points I thought I would  share
it  with  the  net.   It  has  to do with who works, who stays home, and
aren't men pigs for forcing the women to slave over the fruits of  their
mutual  admiration:-)  Please  direct  flames  /dev/null,  thoughts  and
criticism to me.

Dear Marsha,

Unfortunately, in my case, I am 28 years old.  My  SO  is  29  (30  next
month).   She  has a VERY strong desire to have children, and would like
to have her first before her 33rd birthday, preferably much sooner.   We
are  planning  to  be  married  next spring, and to wait about two years
before having a child.  She intends (I should say insists) on taking  at
least a year(much more likely 2 or 3 years) off of work when she has the
child.

Thats where we stand personally (except that we met a year  and  a  half
ago  and are very much in love).  Professionally she is unhappy with her
job as a archivist at CBS, having been stranded in a backwater  with  no
place  to  advance  to.   She  is looking for another job in a different
area, but is still undecided about direction.

My job is another matter entirely.  I LOVE  my  job.   I'm  a  scientist
without  degree  (  I have an MS but no dissertation) working for a VERY
small recombinant DNA oriented biotechnology company.  I have  the  same
responsibilities  and  salary  as the PhD's on the staff, a lot of input
into both scientific and organizational planning,  and  a  lot  of  good
people  to  collaborate with.  This was not always so.  When I met my SO
(lets call her Pam, its more polite) I  was  waiting  tables  part  time
while I looked for a job, and had been doing so for over a year.  When I
started work here I was a  technician,  I  ran  some  experiments  under
supervision  and  worried about details (keeping the lab clean, ordering
supplies, making sure we had clean glassware, and several real shit jobs
I  would  never  drop  on  my  own technician) for other people.  Not to
mention working for half of what I make now.  In a year and a half  I've
come  a  long  way,  and I'm still moving, but the price is that I quite
often put in 70 or more hours a week, not counting  time  spent  reading
and thinking at home.

I  personally  would  LOVE  to be able to take off 2 or 3 years while my
children are young and watch them grow and become aware of the world.  I
can't  think  of anything more enjoyable, even with all the headaches it
entails.  The problem is that I am unlikely to reach the point  where  I
can  do that in the next 5 years, by which time Pam will probably return
to work, the kids will be in daycare, etc.  I am hoping at this point to
reach  the  level of enlightenment that allows some very good scientists
to be productive on a 40 hour week, because if the kid was born tomorrow
I would never get to see him/her while he/she was awake.

Sorry this is so long, but this has been on my mind for a while.
-- 
____________________

Michael Lonetto  Public Health Research Institute,
455 1st Ave, NY, NY 10016  
(allegra!phri!lonetto)

"BUY ART, NOT COCAINE"

moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison ) (08/05/85)

In article <357@timeinc.UUCP> greenber@timeinc.UUCP (Ross M. Greenberg) writes:
>
>You're right -- we (men) haven't.  You (women) have: the issue
>of pregnancy is now a special case.  It used to be considered a 
>"disability". This was changed, and now maternity leave is a benefit.
>Certainly pregancy is not a disability, but the benefit of
>maternity leave comes with a certain cost.  

Is this really true?  As I posted before, there is no "maternity
leave" as such here at Tek.  There is a short term *disability*
available for a period of about six weeks;  it is under the same
terms as elective surgery: the woman is expected to return to 
work when the physician certifies that she is physically capable.

Beyond that, the woman may take an extended personal leave.  This is
available for men as well, and is under the same terms as any personal
leave.  The job is not guaranteed upon return to work.

Is this significantly different from other large corporations?

Moira Mallison
tektronix!moiram