brianc@tekla.UUCP (Brian Conley) (08/23/85)
> > I am getting married soon. From what I have read, I understand > > I can legally choose to keep my name or change it, as long as I > > do so consistently. Ideally I would like to change my name for > > personal use (the idea of everyone in my new family having the > > same name appeals to me), but keep my name (&reputation) at work. > > At a later time when I changed jobs and my old name didn't mean > > anything to anyone I would use my new name everywhere. > > > > In some professions (e.g., acting) people have "professional" and > > private names. Is there any way I could do that? My main concern > > is my paycheck (could I cash it if it were in my maiden name) > > and my IRS records. > > AN ADVOCATE FOR NOT CHANGING NAMES Switching between a "Professional" and a "Private" name sounds really risky. Even if you wait to change jobs you still have to worry about having someone try to check the truth of your resume', something which is supposedly happening quite often now. Just get people used to ONE situation, don't confuse them with a name for every occasion. I refused to change MY name when I got married. So did my wife. I don't remember how the Feds did it (I think they got it right), but Arizona Revenue knew my wife and I as "ConleyKostin, Brian B. and Joan E." Other than the minor inconveniences such as the above, it appears to be working out quite well. Buying a house, having a child and other things are no more complicated if you and your spouse have different last names. Keep in mind however, 1) Have your mate's support. There are a lot of stupid people who refuse to understand anything new. (Most to them are over 40, perhaps brain death occurs at that age?) The bad comments to date have ranged from "OH, one of THOSE *NEW* marriages" (stated in a DISAPPROVING tone) to "women who don't change their names are not as committed to the marriage" (obviously a brain death case). I have a thick skin and a warped sense of humor (more later) so I almost enjoy these comments. Also, parents may take a while to get used to the idea. (Ours weren't too bad.) 2) There are several advantages. For example, after we bought our first house we got the usual pitches for insurance, improvements, etc. Despite the fact that the house was in BOTH our names, these toads only picked up mine (i.e. "Mr.Conley"). Thus any callers asking for "Mrs. Conley" are told they have a wrong number. (At first my wife wondered why they wanted to talk to my mother.) Another is that your coworkers won't be left scratching their heads because they can't find you in the company directory ("I just saw her yesterday, how OLD is this *&%$ book?") 3) BEFORE you decide to have kids decide how to handle the last name. The first names were easy, decided the second month. The LAST name was decided 12 hours into labor, but I'm not complaining. Emma E. Kostin-Conley (07 July 1985) Now I get mail to "Mr. Kostin-Conley". Right, "Sorry, wrong number." Tell us how it works out. Good luck. Conley, Hillsboro Oregon.
ark@alice.UucP (Andrew Koenig) (08/25/85)
Suppose both spouses keep their names and hyphenate the kids. Said kids grow up and marry other similarly-hyphenated people. What do they name THEIR kids? Perhaps both spouses should choose a (shared) new surname when they marry? Perhaps kids should choose a new (non-hyphenated) surname when they leave their parents?
martillo@csd2.UUCP (Joachim Martillo) (08/25/85)
For women changing last names upon marriage is pretty silly especially because almost half will get divorced anyway. Both my mother's and father's families come from areas where patrynomics were much more in vogue than last names. Therefor my mother remains Hannah Ruth 'A`jami as short for Hannah Ruth bat Hassan 'A`jami az-Zanzuri at those few times when my mother's marital status need be indicated she uses the form Hanna Ajami di Martillo. Depending on mood I hyphenate my mothers name onto my name which is common in Latin countries. Martillo is not the family name but rather a nickname which we have used since WWI anyway.
mmar@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Mitchell Marks) (08/26/85)
> Suppose both spouses keep their names and hyphenate the kids. > Said kids grow up and marry other similarly-hyphenated people. > What do they name THEIR kids? Exactly this problem comes up in Spain and some Latin American countries. Well, it isn't hyphenation, but compounding with `y' and `de'. They can reach four surnames, but then limit the expansion. I don't know exactly how the pruning is done when it gets longer. -- -- Mitch Marks @ UChicago ...ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!mmar
features@ihuxf.UUCP (aMAZon) (08/26/85)
> Suppose both spouses keep their names and hyphenate the kids. > Said kids grow up and marry other similarly-hyphenated people. > What do they name THEIR kids? > > Perhaps both spouses should choose a (shared) new surname > when they marry? Perhaps kids should choose a new (non-hyphenated) > surname when they leave their parents? Don't the Spanish folks do something like this? I mean, incorporate the mother's last name as a middle name or something for the kids? Someone who knows more about this than me, help us out. -- aMAZon @ AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL; ihnp4!ihuxf!features
gkloker@utai.UUCP (Geoff Loker) (08/26/85)
In article <4206@alice.UUCP> ark@alice.UucP (Andrew Koenig) writes: >Suppose both spouses keep their names and hyphenate the kids. >Said kids grow up and marry other similarly-hyphenated people. >What do they name THEIR kids? > >Perhaps both spouses should choose a (shared) new surname >when they marry? Perhaps kids should choose a new (non-hyphenated) >surname when they leave their parents? England has been handling the problem of hyphenated last names for generations, now. When two hyphenated people marry, they each drop one of the names in their hyphenated last name, and their new last name is made up of the remaining last names. (eg. -- Joe Blueblood-Snob and Jane Uppercrust-Rich marry and become the Rich-Snob's.) There is some sort of formula for determining which names get dropped, and the ordering of the names in the new last name. I don't see any reason why this system couldn't be used in the above case. -- Geoff Loker Department of Computer Science University of Toronto Toronto, ON M5S 1A4 USENET: {ihnp4 decwrl utzoo uw-beaver}!utcsri!utai!gkloker CSNET: gkloker@toronto ARPANET: gkloker.toronto@csnet-relay
doug@terak.UUCP (Doug Pardee) (08/27/85)
> Suppose both spouses keep their names and hyphenate the kids. > Said kids grow up and marry other similarly-hyphenated people. > What do they name THEIR kids? No problem. The current Yuppie fad will have long since died out, and the kids will have dis-owned the names of their "ME-generation" parents. -- Doug Pardee -- CalComp -- {seismo!noao,decvax!noao,ihnp4}!terak!doug
young@yale.ARPA (Jonathan Young) (08/27/85)
Summary: Expires: Sender: Followup-To: Distribution: In article <4206@alice.UUCP> ark@alice.UucP (Andrew Koenig) writes: >Suppose both spouses keep their names and hyphenate the kids. >Said kids grow up and marry other similarly-hyphenated people. >What do they name THEIR kids? > >Perhaps both spouses should choose a (shared) new surname >when they marry? Perhaps kids should choose a new (non-hyphenated) >surname when they leave their parents? One possibility would be to designate one half of the hyphenated name as "patronymic", to be inherited from the father, and the other half as "matronymic" (this word isn't in my dictionary), inherited from the mother. Thusly, mother Alice A-B and father Bob C-D name their kids Cathy and Dan A-D. (Or C-B if you're feeling that way). This also deals nicely with the problem of naming kids by a previous marriage. I believe that at least one (african? spanish?) culture actually uses this system. --- Jonathan (...decvax!yale!young@UUCP or young@yale.ARPA)
dailey@cornell.UUCP (John Dailey) (08/28/85)
In article <1060@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP> mmar@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Mitchell Marks) writes: >Exactly this problem comes up in Spain and some Latin American >countries. Well, it isn't hyphenation, but compounding with >`y' and `de'. They can reach four surnames, but then limit >the expansion. I don't know exactly how the pruning is done when >it gets longer. >-- Actually, in Spain (and I assume in Latin America) the wife keeps her maiden name when she gets married and the children have two legal last names. The first last name and the one used most of the time, except on legal documents, (where both last names are required) is the husband's first - last name. The second last name of the child is the wife's first last name( her father's name). In Spain only the two last names are required, but most could tell you more of them. My wife can easily list at least ten. This is limited only by memory and/or interest. The list of names is composed as follows: father's name, mother's name, father's mother's name (paternal grandmother), mother's mother's name (maternal grandmother),etc. back through the generations, which is a convenient way of recalling one's family tree and remembering one's ancestors. I, for example, have no idea who my great grandmother was. Oh, the 'y' is optional and rarely used except in some names where it is really part of the name. None of my Spanish friends use it. |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | John H. Dailey | | Center for Applied Math. | | Cornell U. | | Ithaca, N.Y. 14853 | | {decvax,ihnp4,cmcl2,vax135}!cornell!amvax!dailey (USENET) | | dailey%amvax@cornell.arpa (ARPANET) | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
tan@ihlpg.UUCP (Bill Tanenbaum) (08/31/85)
How about taking alternate letters from each parent's name? Then I would be Bill Tlnnneaum. My wife would be Abby Dtrimmnn. Our kids would be Sara and Laura Ttninmanm. See, it works! -- Bill Tanenbaum - AT&T Bell Labs - Naperville IL ihnp4!ihlpg!tan