jad@lanl.ARPA (09/12/85)
I am beginning to feel as though I have never met a woman that regretted a decision she had made. Each one to whom I speak about things that have "gone wrong" in their lives says that they wouldn't take back their decision, the decision that caused things to change in their lives for the worse (after all.) Is this just a peculiar form of machisma or what? ----------- Yours for a more psychopathic society, Zozzles The Freep (aka jad@lanl.ARPA or ..cmcl2!lanl!jad or some such)
david@tekig5.UUCP (David Hayes) (09/16/85)
In the paraphrased words of John Huston when asked if he had it all to do over again would he change anything..... "Hell yes, I'd change a lot of things, and I think those people who say 'I'd do it the same way' are a bunch of lying assholes." perfect.... dave
seb@mtgzz.UUCP (s.e.badian) (09/20/85)
From david@tekig5.UUCP (David Hayes) Wed Dec 31 19:00:00 1969 >In the paraphrased words of John Huston when asked if he had it all >to do over again would he change anything..... > "Hell yes, I'd change a lot of things, and I think >those people who say 'I'd do it the same way' are a >bunch of lying assholes." >perfect.... I think there is a big difference between regreting something you and saying you wouldn't want to change anything. If I had my life to live over again, I would do things differently in some instances. But I don't feel any regret over the things that I actually did. Regret implies dissatisfaction - you did something wished you hadn't done, now that you're looking back. Sure, it's easy to say now. But back when I did it I didn't know what would happen. I made the best choice at the time. If I knew what the consquences would be before I made the decision my choice might change. But we don't have that luxury. I don't see any reason to regret anything I've done. If you go through life with 20/20 hindsight, you're cheating yourself. You can't live your life now if you're busy rehashing the past. Is this lack of regret particular to women? I saw the original article and the question seemed to be "Is this true for more women than just the ones I know?" Well, this woman can honestly say that she doesn't regret anything she's done. Sharon Badian ihnp4!mtgzz!seb ...we got to install some microwave ovens, custom kitchen delivery. we got to move these refrigerators, we got to move these color tv's...
maples@uiucuxc.CSO.UIUC.EDU (09/24/85)
Speaking as a woman, "Well put, Susan".
maples@uiucuxc.CSO.UIUC.EDU (09/24/85)
Oops! I meant Sharon. Sorry!
jeff@rtech.UUCP (Jeff Lichtman) (09/25/85)
> > > "Hell yes, I'd change a lot of things, and I think > >those people who say 'I'd do it the same way' are a > >bunch of lying assholes." > > I think there is a big difference between regreting something > you and saying you wouldn't want to change anything. If I had my > life to live over again, I would do things differently in some instances... > I don't see any reason to regret anything I've done. If you go > through life with 20/20 hindsight, you're cheating yourself. You can't > live your life now if you're busy rehashing the past. > Is this lack of regret particular to women? I saw the original > article and the question seemed to be "Is this true for more women than > just the ones I know?" Well, this woman can honestly say that she doesn't > regret anything she's done. > > Sharon Badian My feelings about regret are pretty much the same as Sharon's. It doesn't make much sense to worry about what you have done before; it happened, and there's nothing you can do about it. Also, I feel that the bad things that have happened to me helped me become what I am as much as the good things; to wish that they had never happened is like saying that I would trade away a part of my personality for a memory of an easier life. I've always felt that a person's personality is sacred, and that no one has the right to mess with mine, not even myself (a strange concept, but so is the idea that one could change the past; if my grandmother has wheels, she'd be a buggy). The only time I ever feel regret is when I think about times that I hurt someone. These are the only things that make me wish I could change the past. -- Jeff Lichtman at rtech (Relational Technology, Inc.) "Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent..." {amdahl, sun}!rtech!jeff {ucbvax, decvax}!mtxinu!rtech!jeff