[net.women] The word "lady"

jeff@rtech.UUCP (Jeff Lichtman) (10/04/85)

	I think the reason many women object to the word "lady" is that
it is often used to manipulate.  The word represents an ideal of passiveness
and gentility; little girls especially are told that they are not being
"ladylike" when they are a little rebellious (a bit of rebelliousness is
expected in boys in our culture), or when they climb trees, or otherwise
don't meet their parents' or teachers' expectations of meekness, submissiveness,
and conformity.  Many women reject these ideals, and object to the word
"lady" as a symbol of these ideals.
	However, the word isn't always used this way.  For instance, Lee Gold
objected to mail from the Society for Creative Anachronisms that was addressed
to "The Lady Lee Gold".  Remember where this is coming from: almost certainly
the word "lady" was used in the old sense, meaning a female lord, or property
owner.  While one may question why there should be one word for each sex, it
is an archaism; it was being used to create the atmosphere of medieval culture.
	Sometimes the word is used in worse ways than the manipulative one
discussed above.  When someone yells "Hey, Lady!", I think it shows disrespect
to women in general.  It's almost as if the word were intended as an insult.
	Sometimes the word is used to mean a woman deserving of great respect,
one with experience in life who knows what she wants, is intelligent, can
express herself well, and emits an aura of confidence and security; a
Katherine Hepburn.
	My point is that words in themselves aren't objectionable, but their
usages can be.  Comments?
-- 
Jeff Lichtman at rtech (Relational Technology, Inc.)
"Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent..."

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