judith@proper.UUCP (Judith Abrahms) (10/14/85)
In article <> richw@ada-uts.UUCP writes: > > Speaking as a 24 year old 'female', I too object to being called a > 'girl'. On the other hand, 'woman' sounds like I'm a 45 year old > woman. But since no alternative exits, I guess I'll have to get used > to it. Before 1970, when the fight to replace "girl" with "woman" began, I felt much as you do. A "girl" was someone like me -- young, desirable, and full of potential. A "woman" was someone about 45 -- frumpy, useless, and senile. Around 1970, I (along with a lot of other people) learned to say "woman" for any adult female. I have a feeling that the girl(young,good)/woman(old,bad) usage is on its way back; in the light of the current backlash, it would make sense for this to be the case. If you call a 21-year-old male a boy, he's highly unlikely to feel flattered. If you call him a man -- even if it does make him sound 45 -- he's just as unlikely to feel insulted. Consider the expression "sending a boy to do a man's job." But in the minds of most speakers of English, there's something wrong with being a 45-year-old woman. I don't think I have to belabor this point. I read recently that almost all female TV stars are between 20 and 30, and almost all male TV stars are between 45 and 55. Before the attempts of the '70s to change the language, in fact, even women in their sixties were flattered by being called girls, and some of them even referred to themselves that way. I seem to remember movie and/or TV scenes that were supposed to be funny, in which a gang of doddering biddies addressed one another as "girls." The whole point was that they were no longer real girls, and therefore no longer human beings of any value whatever, but lacked the intelligence to appreciate even this obvious fact. A young man asked me today at what ages, if ever, most women tell the truth about their age. He told me most girls under 21 say they're 21 if they can get away with it. I'm not sure how many women in their 20s lie about their ages, but I bet there's less lying between 21 and 28 than any other time in a woman's life, because it's OK to be in your twenties. Remember all those TV stars. I know there are some obvious "breakpoints": many women will stay 28 for as long as they can, stay 38 as long as they can, etc... I don't think most of us give our age if it's clear we're over 38. A man who dies in his fifties is said to have been cut down in his prime, with his potential tragically unfulfilled. That's a young man dying there! But a woman alive in her forties is considered by most people, I think, to be marking time until she dies. As many observers have noted, that's a hell of a lot of time to mark. Cheers, Judith Abrahms {ucbvax,ihnp4}!dual!proper!judith