[net.women] what makes you feel feminin

hachiya@uiucuxc.CSO.UIUC.EDU (10/16/85)

>also continue to feel that as long as I can keep a proper
>perspective on the whole issue, it doesn't really hurt me to
>enjoy "stereotypically feminine" things.

 If you feel secure enough in who you are, you shouldn't feel
 threatened by enjoying either stereotypically masculine or 
 feminine things.

 Donna

jeff@rtech.UUCP (Jeff Lichtman) (10/22/85)

> 
>  If you feel secure enough in who you are, you shouldn't feel
>  threatened by enjoying either stereotypically masculine or 
>  feminine things.
> 
>  Donna

I agree with this in principle, but there's something about it that makes
me a little uneasy.  It implies that if the idea of doing something
stereotypically against your gender makes you uncomfortable, you are
insecure; that is, there is something wrong with you.  If the thought of
sewing my own clothes made me uncomfortable (see footnote), that would be
one thing, but I readily admit that the thought of my running around in
a dress repels me.  My point is that stereotypes have different strengths,
and a person shouldn't be ostracized for not wanting to break a strong one.

But at a different level, I feel that a person shouldn't be ostracized even
for not wanting to break a weak stereotype (e.g. a woman not wanting to learn
how to change a tire), especially if the person doesn't have too many of these
"faults".  I don't care whether this does show insecurity.  Most ideals can
be used to oppress or manipulate, including the one of being self-actualized,
secure, and well-balanced.  A person should be allowed to have a few faults,
including the sin of insecurity.  I would even say that faults such as these
should be considered as personality traits if they are few in number, for
without them one could hardly be considered human.

* The thought of sewing my own clothes does make me uncomfortable, but it's
  not because of any sexual stereotype.  Rather, I have the fear that I would
  have to wear the results. :-)
-- 
Jeff Lichtman at rtech (Relational Technology, Inc.)
"Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent..."

{amdahl, sun}!rtech!jeff
{ucbvax, decvax}!mtxinu!rtech!jeff