falk@uiucuxc.CSO.UIUC.EDU (11/01/85)
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Careers and motherhood may not mix easily, but it is a rewarding experience
if you can do it. I currently have a 14mo. old child and a career as a
computer professional (my husband is also a computer professional). We don't
have 9-5 jobs (never have), but that makes things easier to juggle- we can
go in at night or on a weekend if we need to be home sometimes during the
week with the baby.
The work schedules are fine- the hard part for me with motherhood has been
growing up and trying to decide what my values are so I can pass them on
to my child. My situation is *much* different than my mother's was in the
'50s. Dad worked (sometimes 2 jobs to make ends meet) and Mom was at home-
that was how they both (seemed) to want it. I missed my Dad a lot when I
was growing up and he died 1 1/2yrs. ago just before he had the opportunity
to be a grandfather. So, I don't really have a role model from childhood to
follow in my current situation.
Growing up is also hard. I went off to college, got a bachelors and masters
degree and eventually got married (after I had "sown my wild oats"). *None*
of that prepared me for motherhood. When my daughter was born, I was awed at
the beauty and perfection of a new little person (that my husband and I
created!) and overwhelmed by the responsibily of having a small person dep-
endant upon me for her very existence. Not just the food, clothes and shelter
(although those are of prime importance for a newborn), but the love and
guidance required are issues I just never had to deal with before. And we
had to give up things- particularly spur-of-the -moment type things ("wanna
go to the movies tonight?").
I am also suddenly thrust in the role of teacher and I want to do it right.
I want to keep her safe, but I don't want to inhibit her; I want her to learn
new things, but I don't want to push; I want to love her, but don't want to
smother her; and I want her to learn good values, but I don't know how to
teach them.
So far(only a 14mo. time-sample), she seems quite happy and well-adjusted (we
have taken her travelling with us to Japan and Germany and we constantly got
comments about how well she travelled and how happy a baby she seemed). I
hope that continues as she encounters more of the "outside world".
Connie Falk
(falk@uiucuxc.cso.uiuc.edu)