mdf@osu-eddie.UUCP (Mark D. Freeman) (01/29/86)
*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** From the posting I have read in this group over the last two months, I can only conclude that Cheryl is the most sexist person I have ever encountered. This does not mean that I disregard what she has to say. I read ALL postings, because I may (and generally DO) learn something. I can understand her point of view; after living with endless examples of a particular problem, one can get somewhat reactionary about it. I have seen the same thing with people who work for rights for the handicapped, and people who work with rape victims. It reminds me of the few blacks I have known who truly believed that equality should not be their goal. Only complete submission of whites for a period as long as slavery has existed in America would be acceptable. Cheryl merely replaces 'blacks' with 'women' and 'whites' with 'men'. I can see the reasoning behind it, but I don't see it as a progressive or constructive attitude. There is as much proof that the assistant prof./boyfriend is purposefully distorting facts about employability of Psych PhDs as there is to support the argument that the woman reading at the beach is a tease. It is not impossible, but the odds are unfavorable. Not eveyone who makes a decision not in keeping with the feminist ideals is neccessarily doing so as a result of selling out. There are MANY factors. I am currently evaluating getting serious about a relationship with a woman who is going for her Masters and is planning on moving overseas in less than two years, and intends on staying there. I don't want to get too serious about it if I am not REALLY willing to pack up and move to some generic foreign country as a part of working at the relationship. There are many different aspects to the decision, only a few of which have been discussed in this forum. If I decide not to get involved further, it won't have anything to do with pride or being a wimp or not. I would have to give up ownership of a consulting practice and partnership in a software development company, and possibly give up my entire career (depending on where we would move). I may decide it is worth it. That doesn't make me any less of a man, and deciding not to persue a PhD in Psych doesn't necessarily make Anne less of a woman. Unless you are tied up with kids, you can always pick up the pieces and go back to your original plans if the relationship self-destructs. Kids definitely complicate the situation. If Cheryl can put up with all the sexist crap she has to deal with every day, I can put up with her sexist rantings of a similar nature. Not because I'm a man (Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK :-), but because tolerating this sort of noise has become a part of everyday living for ALL of us -- women, blacks, gays, mexican-americans, non-Christians, (and guys named Herb :-). My personal feeling is that I respect the women who are feminists (and/or lesbians) due to a respect for, and a love of, women. I feel sorry for those who do it out of a hatred of, or knee-jerk reaction to those men who act like assholes. I spend most of my time in the first six months of a new relationship overcoming the mistrust and hurt feelings of women who were previously dating such emotional adolescents. (BTW, I feel the same way about men who are gay. I think it is better to be for something, as opposed to being against its opposite. Positive reinforcement is based on the same idea. Better a carrot than a stick is also a variant.) -- <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Mark D. Freeman Guest account at The Ohio State University StrongPoint Systems, Inc. mdf@osu-eddie.UUCP 209 Olentangy Street Mdf@Ohio-State.CSNET Columbus, OH 43202-2340 Mdf%Ohio-State@CSNET-RELAY.ARPA !cbosgd!osu-eddie!mdf I disclaim even my very existance. Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science. -- Gary Zukav from "The Dancing Wu Li Masters" <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>