[net.women] To date? Or not to date.? Even when you REALLY DO like the person...

abeaver@tekig5.UUCP (A Beaver) (02/25/86)

	In a previous article I had written...
> > >	And then there are those of us who are just "Incredibly Busy".
> > > 	It's not too easy to make dates if you have to get up early.

	Someone retorted..
> >   Sorry, but I don't buy this one. It's a story, an excuse. To avoid just
> > saying you aren't enough interested.  [ more opinions about how you would
> > make the time if you wanted to..]

> And yes, my sleep time is VERY important, because it determines my general
> health and productivity. Not many things short of a major crisis are
> worth that.
> -- 
> jcpatilla
	I hadn't thought that I was the only one getting up early to go to
	work....
	When a person is the sole support of several children, as I have been
	for the last 8 or 9 years, you really value the time which you have in
	the evening.  A lot of times, going to bed at 9 or 9:30, is VERY
	necessary.  Otherwise, you would not be able to make it at work and
	still get your homework done.  I have found that my head works better
	with my morning coffee, then when I have put in a long day.
	
		Annadiana Beaver
		abeaver@tektronix

woods@hao.UUCP (Greg Woods) (02/25/86)

> 	When a person is the sole support of several children, as I have been
> 	for the last 8 or 9 years, you really value the time which you have in
> 	the evening.  A lot of times, going to bed at 9 or 9:30, is VERY
> 	necessary. 

   First of all, I don't believe "necessary" is really the right word,
based on what you've written here. You said your time in the evening was
valuable to you. I can relate to that. My point was, if I ask you out, I'd
rather hear either "I want to spend that evening with my kids" or "Sorry,
but I really don't want to go out with you", or even "I'm not interested
in any dates these days because I'd rather spend time with my kids" than "I'm 
too busy" which is just a camouflage and actually even a deception. If I
hear "I'm too busy" then I don't even know whether I should ask again.
What you REALLY mean is: I'd rather spend the evening at home than go out
with you. There is nothing WRONG with that, either. It's perfectly 
understandable. But one thing I CAN tell you: if you insist on looking at it
as though you HAVE to stay home and HAVE to go to bed early, instead of seeing
that it really is your choice to do so, then you won't be able to enjoy
that time as much as you would otherwise, not to mention the missed
opportunities to do other things that you will let pass by without even
considering them. In many cases like this (and I'm not saying it's true in
your case) you can even start to resent the kids for "forcing" you to stay home
all the time. People can cause themselves a lot of unnecessary grief with
this kind of "have to" outlook.

--Greg
--
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