[net.women] internal conflicts wrt sexual stimuli and so on

barry@ames.UUCP (Kenn Barry) (09/23/86)

From Ed Hall (randvax!edhall):
>People, of either sex, generally don't like being just sex objects.
>They might love being lusted after by an approriate someone who
>focuses that feeling *especially* on them, but if that glint in the
>other person's eye is based solely on raw biological need and has
>nothing to do with them as people, it is repulsive.

	Hmmm...

>This all leads back to feminism 101 (doesn't this group always seem to
>do this?): being a sex object is degrading.  Some traditional women
>might accept men treating them as a sex object as ``the way men are''
>[are you listening, Jeff W?], but it just ain't sexy to be thought of
>as a piece of meat--perhaps more or less tasty than some other piece
>of meat but meat nonetheless.

	My main problem is that you went from "just sex objects" in the
former paragraph, to "sex objects" in the latter. Obviously, no one wants
to be just a sex object; no one wants to play that role at all times,
with all people. But much confusion can arise from a phrase like "being
a sex object is degrading", because it's ambiguous. Does it mean that
being nothing but a sex object is degrading, or does it mean that playing
that role part-time and voluntarily is also degrading? There's a big
difference between the two. My impression is that most people quite enjoy
being a sex object from time to time. What's important is that it's their
choice.
	I have one other problem with what you said. You speak of impersonal
sexual interest being repulsive to the object of interest. I disagree.
It may be repulsive in some circumstances, but it is perfectly fine in
others. Some people *like* impersonal sexual admiration of their bodies
and sexuality. This is often somewhat disparagingly referred to as
exhibitionism, but it's no stranger than an athlete enjoying being
impersonally admired for their running ability, or a singer for their
voice. Once again, I think the real separator between degrading and OK
is the matter of choice. If someone (a stripper, say) puts on the role
of sex object voluntarily, I see no problem. Only if others are pushing
you into a role you do not want to play is it degrading.

-  From the Crow's Nest  -                      Kenn Barry
                                                NASA-Ames Research Center
                                                Moffett Field, CA
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