jla@inuxd.UUCP (Joyce Andrews) (11/21/85)
Thanks for all the replies about housing info for my daughter,
who has chosen Purdue. Some of the replies from IU were really
funny. (Do you Purdue people know that IU people call your
school Moo U?)
I wish to clear up a misconception--I am not looking for a
women-only dorm for my daughter--I don't care if she *ROOMS* with a
man if she chooses. I was asking for the names of warm, clean
dorms that will allow a choice between studying and partying, and
are not so noisy that studying is impossible. When I went away
to college 25 years ago I really didn't know what to expect and
my parents couldn't tell me because they had never been on a
college campus. I'm afraid that I didn't use my time very well.
I would really hate to miss this opportunity to prepare my
daughter (and my son, two years from now) for what's ahead.
Also--I am a single parent with the sole responsibility for their
lives. My daily work provides their daily bread, and a large
part of their college expenses. They can't waste their one
chance. There's not enough for a second go-round. I've been out
in this business jungle for a lot of years and I have learned that
how they prepare now can ease the burden later on--and it's not
just a degree. Knowing how to be business oriented is another
important lesson. Learning it now will give them a head start.
Sorry--I didn't mean for this to be a sermon. You college people
are important to me because you can help me understand the
pressures on my daughter and son, and you can teach me through
your experiences how to simplify the learn-to-be-an-adult processes
for them.
Ok, underneath all of this is a request for advice. Since both
my kids want to go to Purdue it would be a tax advantage for me
to buy a small house (maybe a two-bedroom) in the town and pay a
mortgage, renting the extra room to another college student
during the time I have only one in school. The question: is the
first year in the dorm important? Will living off campus be a
deterrent to the whole "college life" scene? My daughter is
out-going and very attractive--she models part time and has a
confident, extrovert personality. My son is content to live his
life connected to a computer keyboard (*ANY* computer
keyboard--not even any loyalties--is that abnormal?). He does
not make friends easily, and prefers to be alone most of the
time. Does he need the dorm life more than she?
One other request for advice: if I were YOUR mother, would you
prefer I get the heck out of your life and let you make all the
same mistakes everyone else makes or would you prefer that I
continue to research my database and offer suggestions? (BTW,
I only offer suggestions--I never say "Do it this way!")
Thanks for reading this. Your advice--any advice--is greatly
appreciated.
Joyce Andrews AT&TIS, Indianapolis
ihnp4!inuxd!jla
P. S. Is Purdue really in a cornfield? Is that corn field any
different than the ones around Bloomington?
sholler@h-sc1.UUCP (dan sholler) (11/24/85)
ronic overachievers or have liveds their entire lives in the same type of neighborhood and have spent all their time hanging around with the same type of people, and they aren't able to deal with people who are different. It is learning to handle a huge number of differnt ideas, individuals and situations that is the most important thing one can get out of college. Living in a dorm provides a fairly comfortable situation in which one can be exposed to these things. 2) Living in a "frat" or single-sex dorm generally does not!!! being at Harvard, where there are no single sex dorms or frats, my opinions on this subject are all second hand observations, but here goes. The gentleman from MIT was correct in his observation that single sex dorms promote immaturity. The traditional frat or all male dorm image seems to be that of "a bunch of guys lookin' for a good time or to get laid" since this image is imprinted on the minds of most high school students, they seem to try and live up to it once they get to college. Several ofmy friends who o to other schools and live in frats have encountered (or become part of ) this phenomena. The last frat party I ever went to (and the last one I ever will go to) had 25 kegs for 120 people (you do the arithmetic) and it wasn't any more excessive than most others. The people I have met from this type of college living situation tend to be immature, closed-minded, and seemed to all be trying to live up to the macho/party-boy image. (although this is a catagorical statement, it is not intended to be, what I mean is that in most frats you tend to find more of these people than in the typical co-ed living situation.) 3) after all I said about how great living on campus is, there is no reason to continue doing so after you feel comfortable with the college scene. It has been a great help to me to get away from a dorm and crowded space, and to be able to regulate my own life a little more. (I highly recommend on-campus co-op living) Its also nice to be able to make stir fryed veggies at 3 am. More than happy to spit out more of this stuff, but this article is too long already thanks for listening Dan Sholler h-sc4!sholler sholler@h-sc4%harvard.harvard.EDU (ARPA) (p.s. Harvard University takes no responsibility for my grammar and mastery of the English language.)
trey@nadine.UUCP (Trey Chapman) (11/24/85)
In article <818@inuxd.UUCP> jla@inuxd.UUCP (Joyce Andrews) writes: >Thanks for all the replies about housing info for my daughter, >who has chosen Purdue. > >Ok, underneath all of this is a request for advice. > The question: is the >first year in the dorm important? Will living off campus be a >deterrent to the whole "college life" scene? My daughter is >out-going and very attractive--she models part time and has a >confident, extrovert personality. My son is content to live his >life connected to a computer keyboard (*ANY* computer >keyboard--not even any loyalties--is that abnormal?). He does >not make friends easily, and prefers to be alone most of the >time. Does he need the dorm life more than she? I think that the 1st year and/or the 1st semester is great to be apart of the dorm life. 1) you get to meet many new people, and become part of the social life you probably would never get if living off campus. 2) after you understand what is going on in the dorms, then when moving off campus, you still have ties that allow you to be part of the dorm activities. >One other request for advice: if I were YOUR mother, would you >prefer I get the heck out of your life and let you make all the >same mistakes everyone else makes or would you prefer that I >continue to research my database and offer suggestions? (BTW, >I only offer suggestions--I never say "Do it this way!") > I would probably perfer that you get out of my life and let me make all of the same mistakes. BUT..... one thing I have learned is that parents get a lot smarter as you grow up! (They were so dumb when I was in college!) - trey -
ins_asgm@jhunix.UUCP (Scott G. McNamee) (11/26/85)
> The question: is the > first year in the dorm important? Will living off campus be a > deterrent to the whole "college life" scene? My daughter is > out-going and very attractive--she models part time and has a > confident, extrovert personality. My son is content to live his > life connected to a computer keyboard (*ANY* computer > keyboard--not even any loyalties--is that abnormal?). He does > not make friends easily, and prefers to be alone most of the > time. Does he need the dorm life more than she? > > One other request for advice: if I were YOUR mother, would you > prefer I get the heck out of your life and let you make all the > same mistakes everyone else makes or would you prefer that I > continue to research my database and offer suggestions? (BTW, > I only offer suggestions--I never say "Do it this way!") > > Joyce Andrews AT&TIS, Indianapolis > ihnp4!inuxd!jla > I think it's great that you care for your children so much that you would go to all this trouble. Even though I wouldn't trade my mom for the world, if you were her, I would appreciate all the help, so long as you realize that my decisions, on anything, are ultimately mine. If I feel that it is more important to actually experience something even though I might get burned (and it doesn't break any serious morals that you've raised me with :-), back me up on those after you've given your advice. Regarding the first year in school, the situation here at the Hop is such that the first year ONLY is spent in the dorms. After freshmen year, you're out to off campus housing. I spent the first year off campus because they ran out of room. Like your daughter, I'm very outgoing and will create my own social life and as such, I had a great first year. However, now that I'm almost out of school, I miss that first bizzare year of dorm life. Even though she'll do well socially whether or not she is on campus, I think she'd miss a lot not being in the dorms. As for your son, I STRONGLY suggest (since I can't say "Do it this way!" :-) that he take that first year on campus. It'll teach him a great deal about people that it sounds like he really needs to learn. Besides, he'll have a blast! Keep up the good work! -- Scott McNamee usenet: ...!seismo!umcp-cs!aplvax!aplcen!jhunix!ins_asgm csnet: ins_asgm@jhunix "Just where in the Sam Hill are we??!"